After a dinner at Fridays’ last Saturday night.
Joel: Come lets go Velvet tonight.

Me: What? Just me and you? Two sausages going to Velvet?

Joel: It’ll be fun.. we’ll go there and meet people.

Me: Uhh.. ok.

I figured that this is Joel Neoh I was talking to, ex-model, ex-reality tv show star and CEO of Youth Malaysia so how wrong could it go?

By the time we arrived at Velvet it was about 12AM and the party had already started. Guys were downing their drinks and girls were shaking their booties.

Joel and I headed first to the bar to get a drink then straight off to the dance floor to startedancing. Yes, Joel… like me is one of those guys that loves to dance. So we get along just fine.

True enough, within 30 minutes we met a couple of girls on the dance floor, exchanged names and started dancing away together.

I was having so much fun I didn’t realize that I was being pushed away from our group on the dance floor…. which was about when I saw her.

Her slim figure was clad in a short green dress and high heels that were almost enough to take my attention of her big adorable eyes and beautiful face. She was no doubt the HOTTEST girl in the club that night.

She said a quick hi to Joel almost as if she knew him.

Then to my disbelief, she set her eyes on me and made a bee line for me, cutting across the dance floor. I looked at her stunned, thinking maybe she wanted to say hi or something but the minute she got in front of me, she put her arms around my neck body close to mine and started dancing away.

I couldn’t believe it…. there she was, the hottest girl in Velvet that night and she was dancing with me.

It was a short dance though… someone from a distance called her and she went on her way (THAT BASTARD!).

She left me alone on the dance floor… alone… but with a big smile on my face.

I went back to the group I met where Joel was and started dancing with them again.

Later on that night I looked around and didn’t manage to find her. I shouted in Joel’s ear
“The hot chick’s gone!”

Joel was calm and whispered loud enough that the loud Black Eyed Peas song playing in the background didn’t drown his words.
“Don’t worry… she’ll come back”.And came back she did.

This time while she made her way back, every other guy on the dance floor wanted to dance with her so she obliged and danced with them for a bit.

Then she made her way to Joel who was in front of me and danced for a while with Joel too.

Shortly after, she looked at me again and walked straight to me and started grinding her body against mine.

After another short but intense dance, I asked her politely
“How does it feel to be the center of attention in the club?”

She giggled and replied with a
“NOOOoooooo!!!!”

I said
“I’m serious… just about every guy AND GIRL in this club seems to want to dance with you”.

Suddenly, she looked at me with a bit of anger in her face and said
“ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!”

I said
“What!?!?”

Then she said it again
“ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!?!”

And walked away.

I was confused…. really really confused… how the hell did I even “MOCK” THIS GIRL!?!?

Soon enough the night ended and it was time for us to leave.

I was walking to the car park with Joel when he told me
“You know that hot chick just now… I think she’s lesbian… “

I was in shock!
“NOOOOooo!! SHE CAN’T BE!!! NOT WITH THE WAY SHE DANCES WITH GUYS!!!”

Joel replied
“Well maybe she’s bi.. but I think she’s somewhere along those lines”.

Then it struck me that I had stressed that EVERY GIRL in the club too wanted to dance with her… NO WONDER SHE THOUGHT I WAS MOCKING HER… WTF!!!!

Next time I’ll just stick with Joey’s tried and true line
“How you doing…?”

PS: You can actually see that hot girl in the last picture I posted up. She’s the girl in the green dress right in front. I know I know there are coincidentally 3 other girls in green dresses as well but this girl is the one to the most left. Even this photo doesn’t do justice to how HOT she is.

All the pictures in this entry were taken with my trust Panasonic DMC-FX33

About one year ago, I was reading an online issue of Businessweek.

They had compiled their yearly list of “Asia’s Young Entrepreneurs” which entailed the Top 25 Young Entrepreneurs in Asia from countries all around Asia.

Back then we were only working on the early stages of Nuffnang and was even yet to launch so I remember thinking to myself how young those entrepreneurs were, and yet they have achieved so MUCH!

It was something to look up to indeed. Curiously I remember to slide back and forth in slideshow of the 25 entrepreneurs to find the entrepreneur from Malaysia but there wasn’t one.

All the entrepreneurs in that list were from Japan, China, India, Vietnam, Indonesia… even Singapore.. but not Malaysia.

I remember telling myself that maybe one day… with that dotcom which was about to be called Nuffnang… just maybe… I might be the Malaysian in that list.

A few days ago Businessweek released its list for this year which narrowed down 25 finalists for the Best Young Entrepreneur in Asia… and believe it or not. Ming and I are in it for Nuffnang.

I don’t know how they picked us out but this paragraph on their website kind of sums it up.

This year, BusinessWeek‘s annual report on Asian entrepreneurship features 25 finalists for the title of Best Young Entrepreneur in Asia. BusinessWeek readers nominated candidates and the magazine’s editors and reporters in Asia suggested names, too. We then narrowed down our list to 25 people whom we feel best represent the creativity and energy that’s now increasingly common among startups across the region. Readers can see profiles of the Top 25 and vote for their favorite here.
It is humbling to be in that list not just because I seem to be the youngest there hence having “eaten the least rice” of the lot but because of all the achievements that the other Top 25 Entrepreneurs in Asia have under their belt.

Yet, I’m a little proud as a Malaysian. I don’t know if I’m the only Malaysian in the list… but I DO know… that I’m glad our country made it this time.

To check out the article and view the slide show click here and here.

You guys don’t have to vote for me okay?

It’s already an honour that I’m even in that Top 25 list.

Some of you may or may not already know but I was invited to speak at PWTC for the upcoming Youth Malaysia Entrepreneurs event in January.

Last Thursday was the launch of Youth Malaysia ’08 also held at PWTC and I was invited to go by Joel, the winner of reality TV show The Firm and the big boss at Youth Malaysia (Joel’s not the one in the picture btw… that’s just one of the “Donald Trump’s” in the TV Show).
Funny thing is, just a day before the launch event at PWTC, I received a call from Joanne, one of the lovely people at Youth Malaysia.

“Hi Timothy, I just want to confirm if you’ll be attending tomorrow”.

Without hesitation I said
“Yes… I will be there to support. Don’t worry!”.

Then Joanne unsuspectingly said
“You do know that you’ll be going up on stage to launch the event with our Deputy Minister of Youth and Sports right? So the dress code for you is formal.”

My jaw dropped
“WHAT?!?!?! I thought I was just going there as part of the audience… I just brought my suit back to Penang for dry cleaning!!!”.

I knew I had to find a suit anyway.

So that afternoon itself I headed to KLCC to buy a suit from… HUGO!!!
HAhahahahah yes… HUGO was my first choice simply because they’ve advertised with us at Nuffnang too!

I walked into the store, was treated very well by the very friendly staff and picked up a suit that was altered to fit in two hours.

I had Vivian, one of my colleagues at Nuffnang pick it up for me later on and I had everything set for the next day.

Damage to my credit card: RM3,000… but it was worth it. A suit is an investment.

The next day I put on my suit and head straight for PWTC.

I was punctual and the minute I arrived was showed around by the wonderful Joanne there who treated me like a VIP. The poor girl was so occupied with the other parts of the event I eventually told her not to worry about me and just go do her thing.

So she left after I was interviewed by some very friendly young journalists and taken some pictures of.Then I explored the event we had going there.

There were booths everywhere set up all by youths with all sorts of interests.

Yes, apparently DOTA these days is also considered a HOBBY/INTEREST… what has the world come to.

There were booths that focused more on mind games, booths focused on music but most importantly for me, there were booths focused on games like Counterstrike which really reminded me of my teenagerhood!

They call it Counterstrike Solo challenge where the winner is the one that kills the most people in the shortest amount of time.

Then there is this little thing called Project Eye where they got youths from all over to take pictures with a whiteboard and any message that they want to put on to it.

All the pictures are put on a wall like that.

I didn’t want to miss the opportunity of being on the wall with a lot of other youths so I grabbed a whiteboard and marker myself.
And guess what I wrote.

I know, it’s not too easy to read thanks to the flash and the size of the picture but the whiteboard says “Nuffnanger at Heart”.

Soon enough, the event started and we all took our seats overlooking the stage. I was lucky enough to be put into VIP seating with a front row view of everything.

First Joel Neoh, the entrepreneur behind Youth Malaysia gave a very inspiring speech.

Then the biggest VIP for the night, the Deputy Minister of Youth and Sports gave his speech on why he supports youth development programs like these and why the government is trying to promote entrepreneurship.
By the time it was done, I went up on stage with some other youth entrepreneurs and officially launched the event, sort of like cutting ribbon but more of pressing a button. Youths should be more high-tech right? We don’t cut ribbon.. we PRESS BUTTON!!

After the event, we all headed together for a Press Conference with the Deputy Minister and we all got together to take this picture for the press.
I don’t blame you if you can’t spot me in this picture since I’m overshadowed by all the other successful young entrepreneurs around me but I’m the one third from the right.

After the press conference and being HUMBLED by the other entrepreneurs there, we all adjourned for lunch.We chatted a bit and I got to take one picture with Joel and Kid Chan (left).

I know I know, Joel is tall and leng chai… don’t ask me for his number… DON’T YOU DARE!!!

I jealous of him so I wun give it to you!!! HMPH!
Congratulations on the succesful event to Joel, Joanne and the rest of the Youth Malaysia team. It was one hell of an event!

I wish there was something like this when I was a teenager.

At least then maybe I would’ve spent a little less time on Counterstrike and a little more time trying to do something more productive.

All pictures in this entry were taken by my Panasonic DMC-FX33

One of the perks of being a blogger these days apart from being given free digital cameras to use and free food is being invited for exclusive invitation-only events and… FREE BOOZE!!!

Last week, I was at Velvet for Heineken’s launch of is Extra Cold beer.
Now I know you’re all probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about since beer is BEER… and is always cold anyway right? (I pity the fool that serves WARM BEER).

Well this beer is a little different.

First off, while normal beer is chilled between 4-5 degrees Celsius, Heineken’s “Extra Cold Pint” is chilled between 0-3 degrees Celsius. And yes, the few degrees of “coldness” does matter.
For one, the extra cold beer tastes a lot less bitter and a lot more icy and it gets you high equally as fast, kinda like having your cake at the same time and eating it.

As usual in every beer launch event there is always the “BEER GIRLS”… well-dressed and sexy girls serving beer. The ones at the event weren’t like the ones you see at wedding dinners with nylonish clothing but were instead dressed in little white hoods like this.

Damn cute right!!!

If I weren’t so distracted by the booze I probably would’ve made a fool of myself trying to hit on them.

Anyway, the event started off with a short speech, a video to educate us on the difference between Extra Cold beer and normal beer, a quick performance but was very quick to move on to the drinking part where everyone got their bottles together to Yam Seng!

I wasn’t the only blogger invited.

Suanie, Fireangel, Shaolintiger and Kimberlycun were there with me.

Shaolintiger isn’t in any of the photos I have on this blog because well.. he was the one taking the photos.

Kinda sad huh, being the designated photographer of the night… kinda like being a car valet… you get to drive the Bentley but all you get to do is park it.

Shaolintiger took this picture too, which was why he’s not in it.
If you’re a Nuffnanger, pay attention to the guy on the most left right beside me.

His name is Desmond and he is the ONE that gives you all your ads!

Well okay not ALL your ads, but a LOT of your ads so if you ever bump into him in The Curve or something, make sure you go up to him and say
“DESMOND!!! TODAY YOU LOOK SO HEMSEM!”

Anyway, the rest of the night was wonderful partly because of the beer and partly because of the company.

I even met a particular celebrity there. Joey G from Channel V.
Towards the end of the night and with a little booze in her blood, Kimberly got high enough to drag me on the dance floor to dance with her.

Now everyone who has been clubbing with me before knows that I lurrveeeee to dance…. not that I dance particularly well but I just love dancing to let lose every weekend.

That being said, I wasn’t quite feeling it that night partly because all our Nuffnang clients were there and the last thing you want to do is make a fool of yourself in front of them 😛
All my reasoning and begging Kim didn’t stop her until I finally gave up and she scolded me for not being sporting.

The night ended not too late for us since we all had to go back to work the next morning. I really really really enjoyed taking the night… nothing like having good beer with good company.

Plus I really enjoyed the beer they launched. Whoever knew that drinking beer that was chilled just a few degrees colder than the average beer would make such a difference.

Maybe it’s just one of those little things in life where small changes have big impacts.

Last week I had a family reunion back in Penang.

Over the weekend, my mother caught me working on my Macbook and the first thing she said was
“Eh why your screen so small? The words so small after you spoil your eyes!”

I replied
“I know mum, I was seriously considering buying a LCD Monitor once to hook up to my laptop but I decided that it would be a luxury not a necessity and so I decided against buying it”.

My mum replied
“What do you mean? This is a necessity lah! After you spoil your eyes then how?’

Hmmm.. I never thought about it that way… and after all, mum knows best right?

So the minute I got back to KL I went over the Low Yat and told the man behind the counter
“Give me the biggest LCD monitor the world has ever seen!”

He replied sheepishly
“Orr… ok“..

So VOILA!!!
I now not only have a monitor in the office the size of Egypt but I also hooked it up to my laptop so I can use dual monitors. Meaning I can drag windows from one monitor to the other or watch two movies at the same time.

Bwahahahah

Even the new additions to our Nuffnang team were impressed.

Speaking of Nuffnang, this month has been quite an exciting month.
For the month of November alone, 5 new people have joined the growing team after our huge recruitment drive, and we’re still looking to hire another two programmers.

Yesterday I went for lunch with a few of our new Nuffies like Nicholas here who took a pay cut to come in as our new Marketing Manager at Nuffnang.

And Esther here who is already being overworked by us one week after she came in 😛

And yes they both have blogs too. Nicholas’s is here and Esther’s is here.

Our Nuffnang team in Singapore has also made some headway. Next Monday they’re planning a “no-frills” movie screening for it’s thousands of Nuffnangers.

On top of that, Ming and I got a little bit of satisfaction lately.

For a long time we’ve always wanted that we have a complete organization that has charity programs to give back to the community and today Nuffnang is partnering with Nike to fulfill that dream.Nike has been a long-time client of Nuffnang with over 5 different campaigns run in both Nuffnang Malaysia and Singapore so I guess it was just a matter of time before we finally did something out of the box together.

Kudos to the team in Singapore on that!

Ok lah guys… I’m in the office now and it’s 8.42AM… time for me to start working.

Will update again soon ok?

Have a great Wednesday ahead everyone!

PS: All the pictures in this entry are all taken by my trusty Panasonic DMC – FX33

So here I am in front of my laptop on a Sunday night trying to think of what to write on my blog for you guys to read.
I looked around my room for any objects that might give me inspiration and I came across this:

An old photo album that one of my ex-girlfriends use to have to compile all our memories together. When we broke up, she was supposed to have custody of the book but it never quite made it to her hands.
I looked through at all our memories and it dawned on me how bad a boyfriend I was at the time I was with her.

Then again I thought about how stupid a boyfriend I was to a lot of the girlfriends I have had in the past which inspired me to write something about… The Top 5 Dumbest Things I Have Ever Said To A Girlfriend.

Here goes.

Girlfriend: That’s it! I am sick and tired of you spending all day in front of the stupid computer in this smokey cybercafe! Now you CHOOSE! COUNTERSTRIKE OR ME…. Because you CAN’T HAVE BOTH!!!

Me: *looks up from screen* Counterstrike.

When: When I was addicted to CS during secondary school.

Consequence: She broke up with me for 3 days but realized that I was too distracted by silly CS to care so she came back after 3 days and we got back together.

Girlfriend: Look! I am FED UP of watching your STUPID 24… It has been 8 hours already… can we NOT do SOMETHING ELSE?!?!

Me: Ok sure darling, anything you want. Could you move to the left a little, you’re blocking the screen.
When: When I first discovered Jack Bauer

Consequence: NOTHING… that’s right.. nothing happened… I got away with it! Bwahahahaha

Girlfriend: Darling I’m late.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!? HOW?!?!?! DAMMIT IT’S MUST’VE BEEN THAT STUPID NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS.. I KNEW WE SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT THEN! I KNEW IT!!! BUT I THOUGHT WE BOTH COUNTED THE DAYS RIGHT??? WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?!?!! GET ME A CALENDAR!!!
When: When my girlfriend at the time was trying to tell me that she was late for her exam and would like me to drop her off instead of her driving there herself.

She was so nervous about being late that she said it in a very concerned tone as opposed to a typical kan cheong tone that anyone would have when they’re late… hence the misunderstanding.

Consequence: Nothing immediately, but she laughed at it and called me an idiot after her exam.

Me: Dear you have bad breath.

When: The first time I made out with one of my girlfriends.

Consequence: Took me a LOT longer for me to get to Third Base.

Me: Darling…. I think I’m in love with another girl.

When: Before my father sat me down in his office and said “Son… sometimes… you just can’t be too honest with your girlfriend“.

Consequence: My girlfriend dumped me which was kinda what I had coming anyway since I was in love with someone else. But I later realized my feelings were wrong… and I tried to get that girlfriend back but she rejected me and I was heartbroken. That’s called KARMA!

Funny thing happened to me yesterday. I bumped into one of my readers back in Penang, her name’s Jane.

The moment she saw me she said
“TIMOTHY!!!! You look …. so different… from your blog”.

I lifted an eyebrow and asked curiously
“Different good or different bad?”

She said “Oh… definitely good.. you’re much better looking in real life”.

Hear hear everyone… what Jane meant to say was
“Timothy, you look fugly on your blog you make me want to reach into my screen and bitchslap you… could you at least try to look a little less fugly… just try…”

So what she’s trying to say is instead of posting more and more pictures like this.
I should post more and more pictures with me posing like this.

and this

Right Jane?

Anyway, since Panasonic sponsored me their camcorder a couple of weeks ago, they have went on to further spoil me by giving me another two cameras.

A Lumix DMZ-FZ18 which has a lens that is soooo cute it looks like a whale’s big big eye.
and this compact.Upon receiving it, Skyler and Samantha were very very quick to camwhore in the office.

Now I was really excited about the Panasonic DMZ-FZ18 because I have never owned anything close to an SLR before and this Semi-SLR is the closest I have ever gotten.

So last weekend I made my way to Fridays’ at The Curve determined to snap some pictures of something… ANYTHING.
Now every picture with “not so great lighting” that I used to take with my old digicam used to come out blurry and dark. But my Lumix DMZ-FZ18 caught in enough light to take a pretty decent picture, even with a bad photographer like me who doesn’t play with the settings much and knows pretty much nothing about photography.

Note that NONE of the photos are photoshopped ok? All natural.

Anyway at Fridays’ I snapped away pictures of the food we had from my yummy potato skins.

To my half rack of Beef Ribs.
To… my “date” that night Samantha who I never really gave a proper chance to pose properly.

The poor girl had to have her picture taken while she was halfway talking to me.To when she was trying to swallow her drink.

But I didn’t care!!! I was TRIGGER-HAPPY STEWIE that night.

Finally, Samantha gave up trying to talk to me or do anything.

And I was told that if I didn’t stop taking snapping annoying pictures of her, she would storm out of the restaurant and I will be left eating alone.

So with a frown on my face, I put down my camera only to have my new camera hijacked by Sam to annoy ME.

She grabbed my camera so fast all I remember hearing were the two words
“AH HAH!”

right after my camera touched the table.

I went through 10 minutes of the night having my picture taken at the most candid shots ever… and realized that it was actually really quite annoying.

And there Sam was shouting
“YEAH!! YOU LIKE THAT DON’T YOU?? YOU LIKE THAT BRIGHT FLASH IN YOUR FACE DON’T YOU!?!? NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!!!”

After a while, even Sam got bored of snapping pictures of me so we finished off our meal and walked around The Curve for more people to shoot.

Fortunately we bumped into a couple of old friends of mine to shoot pictures at.

Nahri was a natural.. and loved the attention of my big fat lens.
Simon on the other hand, was more… shy shy in front of the camera.

After snapping pictures all over The Curve, it was time to go and I headed for my car parked in Tesco.

The Car park was filled with cars parked everywhere!So many of them even ILLEGALLY PARKED!!!

And there I was thinking
“What the hell? These people not scared kena clamp wan ar?!”

Which was then did I only realize…You gotta love Tesco.

Good value, great prices… even for clamp penalties.

For some reason I increasingly see a lot of young people coming up to me and talking to me about their business ideas and how they want to take the leap and try doing something of their own.

Yet, they always somehow get discouraged by others with all sorts of excuses.

So I have finally decided to write this to clear the air of many of my readers so you all don’t get discouraged ok.

A true entrepreneur does not get discouraged by what anyone says about him as long as he knows he’s doing the right thing.

The Top 5 Excuses People Will Use To Put You Down as an Entrepreneur

Number 5

“Cannot wan lar your idea will never work!”.

This is the very most basic excuse that you will face and if you feel discouraged after people put you down using that line, then maybe you don’t believe in your idea as much as you need to and you should think of something else.

Number 4

“You don’t know anything about running a business”.

And you will NEVER know… unless you RUN one yourself.

Before a baby learns to walk, she watches other people around her walk but she never really really learns to do it until he/she tries. Very often she will stumble first before she walks, but that’s just the way nature made us to be.

If I were to list all the billionaires today who jumped straight into business without working a day in their lives… I would start with Richard Branson of Virgin, Bill Gates and Paul Allen of Microsoft, Steve Jobs of Apple, Philip Green of Topman, Sergey Brin Larry Page of Google, Jerry Yang of Yahoo, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook and the list goes on and on.
If I were to list all the billionaires today that DIDN’T jump straight into business and worked a few years from now… the list ALSO goes on and on and on…

Point is… whatever path you take, all that matters is what you do and not what you did.

Number 3

“Business is all about contacts and it’s not like you know anyone in the industry.”

Yes business is about contacts… whether it’s ALL about contacts or not I can’t say but I do know contacts play an important part.

That doesn’t mean you can’t go head in without any contacts. You make your own contacts.

When Ming and I started Nuffnang, neither one of us knew anyone in the advertising industry. Cold calling and begging for meetings was how we got any of our first ads but eventually after much persistence and some luck, our clients welcomed us through the door and today we run campaigns for Maxis, DiGi, Honda, Nokia, Nestle, Uniliver, HUGO, Air Asia… you name it.

Number 2

“You no money how to do business?”

Venture capitalists… there are so many around and so many who are willing to put money with you as long as they believe in you.

Notice I said BELIEVE IN YOU (NOT believe in your idea).

When you pitch to VCs, sure they’ll like to see how your idea plans to generate revenue but there’s only so much homework they can do. The rest of the weighting on their decisions are based on the entrepreneur… and that’s YOU.

If they believe in your idea but don’t believe in you… they won’t invest in you (Trust me, I know many many VCs).

But if they do invest in you, they will sometimes even allow you to draw an allowance from the company so you can still run your own business and live with a salary.

Number 1

“For every one Google and Microsoft you have 100,000,000 failures.. what makes you think you can make it?”

That’s right. That line is true. Very very true.

For every one success story there are a thousand or more other failures. What people forget to see however is that its the way everything else in life works.

For every one General Manager at Citibank there is at any point in time another 1,000 people who tried to get to that position at one point in their lives but failed.

For every one student studying Law at UCL, there are another 150 that tried to get that same spot but failed.

For every one employee at Maybank, there are another 100 who interviewed for that job but failed to get in.

So what’s the difference?

Whatever you do in life, you are still going to be faced with the same challenge that obviously not everyone is going to make it where you want to go, short of you going to live in a Communist country.

So if you want to be an entrepreneur… NEVER let anyone put you down.

At the end of the day, whatever opinion anyone gives you is only as good as who that person is.

If a lowlife or nobody tells you that you suck or says that you’re a failure, you won’t take it seriously right?

But if Lee Kuan Yew says that you suck.. you’ll believe ever word of it.
Hence, I have sought advice from a lot of very successful entrepreneurs in Malaysia, some of them among the richest men in Malaysia today… and when I ask them about going to be an entrepreneur, none of them ever once discouraged me.

The only ones that ever discouraged me are the ones that never tried.

You should never be discouraged yourself!

I would really like to update my blog right now but I am feeling very very sick and my pile of work is still building up.

Will get back to you guys later ok?

Have a great Tuesday!

I hate watching horror movies.

Why? Because they’re just plain sadistic and they always run along the same storyline.

Correct me if I’m wrong but this is how they ALL are.

First 20% of the movie

They introduce the characters in the movie (the characters that are all going to die in the end except for the hero and his girlfriend). The opening scene is always a bright and happy one, to make up for the rest of the movie that will be pretty much in almost total darkness.

20-40% of the movie

The audience is shown little signs of the evil things that are going to slaughter all the humans in the movie. Now it doesn’t matter if they’re vampires, zombies, snakes, ghosts, aliens, a psychopathic killer or even a giant meat eating bunny. They’re all the same and are there just to feast on humans.

So from now on I’ll just refer to those things as the notty creatures.

40-50% of the movie

The first human victim dies and he/she is always alone.
He/she will probably be in some secluded quiet area with nobody around then he/she will hear a sound. Then he/she will go around investigating that sound saying
“Hello??? Anybody here?”

And the music will start being thriller like.

Then suddenly the notty creatures will come out and devour on that poor first victim.

50-60% of the movie

More and more humans start to get devoured by the notty creatures but they will all have their different ways of dying. You know, it’s almost as if the notty creatures like to find different ways to eat their prey and they’re always very gory.

The humans, including the hero start running away from the notty creatures.
60-70% of the movie

When it hiding, the hero always begins to learn that he is in love with his girl that he’s protecting and she’s in love with him.

In some movies they shag, but in most they don’t bother showing that.

70-90% of the movie

The hero decides that it is time to stop running and start fighting.

Whichever way it is, the hero by now would have figured out a weakness in the notty creature but the antidotes to killing the notty creatures is somewhere far far away and dangerous but the hero steps up to the plate and says something along the lines of
“I’ll do it… I’m the only one that can do it!”

90-100% of the movie

They start killing all the notty creatures and soon they free themselves from all the notty creatures.

There are normally only a handful of them left by the end of the movie.

And that’s it!

That’s just about what every horror movie is like.

Makes you wonder why people watch it right?

Well I don’t enjoy watching it because it’s so saddistic!

But once in a while if there is a good reason to watch it then I’ll watch it. Like watching Paris Hilton get killed House of Wax.
Well just a few days ago, I had a good reason to watch one again.

I got a call from one of our Nuffnang clients on Friday evening just after 5.

“Oi Tim, we got two spare tickets to watch 30 Days of Night… wan or not?”

I immediately hesitated and said
“Eh dowan larr… I don’t like to watch these kind of movies. So depressing”.

But the client was insistent
“Come lar… I also scared, just that they all (“they all” being all my other clients) all want to go watch so just watch lor”.

Without thinking much I said
“Ah fine lar fine lar… I’ll go”.

20 minutes later and after watching the trailer of 30 Days of Nights on YouTube, I began to regret.

I MSN’ed my client

Stewie: Eh I dowan go lar!!!! I don’t like to watch these kind of movies wan.. I sked…

Client: GO LAR!!!

Stewie: Dowan lar! I sked lar….

At this point I was prepared for my client to pull the ‘ego card’… you know where the person trying to get you to watch a movie you don’t want to watch will call you a chicken or make chicken sounds like
“Brawwkkk puk puk puk puk puk puk… CHICKEN!!!”
That trick gets most guys especially when it comes from a girl and it used to work on me… but not anymore, so I was prepared for it.

But my client used a whole different tactic on me this time. And on my MSN window, the message popped up.

Client: Which one you more sked of? You more sked to watch that movie or you more sked that I won’t give you anymore business ever.

I didn’t need to think… I MSN’ed back.

Stewie: Ok see you there at 8pm.

And that movie was so damn stressful to watch.

Seriously, just people being tortured or killed by vampires with heads being chopped off every here and there and sounds of screams throughout the whole movie. And you know what the joke is?

We watched the movie in the cinema… so cinemas censor movies that are 18SG right?

Well for this particular movie, they censored all the F words, the kissing and all, but didn’t censor any of all that disgusting gore.

But… that is the reality of life.

Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the people who PAY you money for your bills aka THE CLIENT.

*sigh*