Tune Money is one of our clients at Nuffnang.

In case some of you may not already know, Tune Money is a new startup by Tony Fernandez and his crew.

One of their newest products is the Tune Card, a Visa prepaid card that anyone can apply online for, as long as you’re above 18 years old.

Naturally since they’re our clients, I found a way to attend their launching in the KLCC Convention Center last week.Now I’ve been to a few launches but this was one of the most entertaining ones I’ve been for.
The launch started off with a speech by the CEO Tengku Zafrul and before you know it, two really cute girls brought up a giant Tune Card with Tony Fernandez’s name on it.
I must say I’m pretty impressed with the Tune Card and if anything, it’s something that we all really could use and it answers a lot of our prayers.

I remember the days before I was eligible for a credit card.
Those days were a little easier for me to get by since back then credit cards weren’t as widely used.

Today with the internet being a huge driver, there are so many things you need to do online that just demands a credit card, unlike those days when the primary purpose of a credit card are is just to buy access to *ahem* sites.
Everything from booking a bus ticket to Singapore to buying a book on Amazon these days demands a credit/debit card.

Of course, the main qualm that everyone has with credit cards is losing control of spending. That is something even I have felt myself sometimes. A RM50 dinner may not seem so much until it all adds up at the end of the month and I get a rude shock.

The Tune Cards however, is a prepaid card that lets you top up a certain amount of credit. So if you top up RM50, you can ONLY spend RM50 until you top up more.

Of course the thing about traditional debit cards before the Tune Card is that it’s naturally seen as being ‘not as cool’ as having a credit card.
For example, when people talk about the Singaporean dream, they talk about the 5Cs (Condominium, Car, Cash, Country Club Membership and CREDIT CARD), they don’t call it 4Cs and 1D (For Debit Card).
Heck go to some places and try to pay with your debit card and they’ll reject you out right saying “Sorry sir, we only take credit cards here”.

The Tune card however somehow eliminates all that double standard. It looks just like a typical Visa credit card and is accepted just as well anywhere.

Like it or not, another not so obvious advantage to the Tune Card is ironically that it’s not tied to a bank.

I mean when you think of a bank having a debit card and you’re looking to apply, the first thing you assume is that you’re going to need a bank account first which means a whole long form with square boxes and a million places for you to sign.All the Tune Cards take is an online application and you’re done.

Anyway after the launch there was a little reception where everyone got together to mingle.

In the reception area was Tony Fernandes himself with a few other VIPs.

It crossed my mind whether I should go over and say
“Hi Datuk, thank you so much for all the support you’ve given us at Nuffnang with Air Asia, Tune Hotels and now Tune Money”.
But I hesitated… bah I mean he won’t even know what the hell Nuffnang is or even anything about the Open Letter I wrote to him once about Air Asia.

So I walked away, but just as I was walking away, he turned his back and looked right at me, smiled and nodded his head to somehow acknowledge me. I had a 3 second opportunity there to go up and say HI but I didn’t.

WHY? Because I was STAR STRUCK!

So what did I do? I stood there like a scarecrow and just smiled back.

A SMILING SCARECROW!!!I left the launch thinking to myself
“DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT…”

And I called my father after that to tell him what happened.

My father brought me back to Earth and said
“Son… do you think he’s going to know who you are or if he’ll EVEN remember you after you met with him today”.

Oh well…

Check out the Tune Money website to apply for a Tune Card. I have two credit cards in my wallet that I use excessively but I’m applying for one anyway.

Might help me keep my spending in check.
Disclaimer: I am not paid a cent to write this entry. It’s just something I write because I actually believe in it.

Last night, I came home after work and out of my car.

Now the funny thing is, separating my car park lot and the lift up to my apartment is a cement ‘railing‘.

So rather than walking one big round to the elevator I just made it quick and snappy and jumped over the railing.

Last night just as I got out of the car, I got a call from a very important person.

I was talking on the phone when I decided to make my jump across.

Just as I was about to jump, I stumbled a little bit and only made it half the distance… meaning I landed with each leg on either side of the railing and the railing right on my balls.I felt my balls crunch against the cement and the thought of me having children 5 years from now flew past very very quickly.

I immediately hung up the phone to scream in pain
“AARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

But no one was around to hear me.

So while lying on the floor to wait for the pain in my groin to subside, I sent a shoutout from my phone on Pacmee.
“AUGH!!! I was trying to jump over a railing but stumbled and landed with the railing on my balls. AUGH!!! Somebody call an ambulance! QUICK!!!’
I waited for a few seconds for someone to come save me.

Now you would think my dear friends who receive my Pacmee Shoutout or read about it on my blog will straight away SMS me and say
“Dude… are you okay?”

or

“Dude… where do I ask the ambulance to go?”

or

“Hang in there dude… I’m coming to get you.”.

or even a solution on what to do
“Put your nuts on ice dude… that’ll stop the swelling.”

But noooo.. the replies I got were

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!!”

or

“SHOW OFF SOME MORE LAH!!! JUMP JUMP!!!”

or

“LOL!!!”

I have great friends.

They all love me.. and will come help me in time of need.

Last weekend I was at The Curve.

I love The Curve.

I don’t know why but I just do.

It’s not exactly a great place for shopping or anything but I love just going there to walk around or hang out.

So every weekend, I will find a reason to go to The Curve.

What’s not to like about The Curve.

If you don’t like the indoor shopping, then go on The Streets for their weekend street market.

If you don’t like shopping period, then go over to Cineleisure for a movie!One thing caught my attention while at The Curve last weekend though.

After walking around, I felt the urge to go to the little boys’ room so I headed to the toilet I know right behind Big Apple Donuts.

The urinals were all full so I went into one of the cubicles, something I really don’t enjoy doing.

Going into cubicles in public toilets in Malaysia is a terrifying experience.

You’ll never know how much literally shit you’re going to see (literally). Somehow some people are of the impression that they don’t have to flush the toilet after doing their business because their shit flushes themselves.

I picked one at random and was lucky this time. The toilet was fairly empty. No doodie in sight.
Then as I got closer, something caught my attention.

Around the rims of the toilet seat was … PISS.That really pissed me off.

Now I can understand why some guys can be a little lazy to lift up the toilet seat before they pee. Fair enough… I can understand that.

But…. WHAT THE FLYING FARK IS SO HARD ABOUT PISSING IN THE TOILET BOWL AND NOT AROUND IT?!?!?!?

WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BORN WITH THAT MANHOOD FOR???

Yeah I know to do that and a lot of other things but ALSO SO THAT YOU CAN POINT AND SHOOT… it’s THAT SIMPLE!

But lets say you really can’t be bothered to aim before you shoot… or you do aim but you’re a lousy shot… then pull up some toilet paper and wipe off your mess!

DON’T LEAVE IT THERE FOR THE NEXT DUDE TO COME IN TO SEE HOW YOU DECORATED THE WHOLE CUBICLE WITH YOUR PEE!Some people disgust me!

No wonder we have toilets just for the dudes and toilets just for ladies.
Imagine if guys and girls shared a unisex toilet.
Every girl who walks in to a cubicle is going to see your mess.

And not just that.

They’re all going to be thinking to themselves that “Hey… I’m going to have to sit on that thing”.

I know not all guys are like that. Many guys like me have the courtesy to aim properly or at worst case clean up their own mess, but if you ever have any friends who you love to decorate the cubicle with their fluids, please smack them hard on the head and teach them some toilet manners.

I ran out of the toilet as soon as I finished my business to get some fresh air.

And went inside the mall to cleanse my eyes of the terrible things I’ve seen in that toilet.

Ahhh… people skating on fake ice.

What a refreshing sight.

It sucks to NOT be an Ah Beng these days.

Let me tell you why.

We were just in the office today on a regular Friday afternoon.

All the girls were busy working hard, cracking their heads and rushing to finish whatever work they have left before the weekend starts.The guys on the other hand, were moderately busy.

Yes only moderately busy, because Nicholas turned around and asked me all of a sudden
“Eh Tim, who is the hottest female blogger that you know?”

I had one girl in mind.

One girl so hot that I said
“Yat… this girl I know is sooo hot… you would leave your girlfriend!” (Note to Yat’s gf: Please don’t kill me.. figure of speech only okie? kekeke)
It didn’t take long for me to say out the URL and it took an even shorter amount of time for the guys to quickly type that URL into their browser and check her out.

3 seconds passed for the blog to load which was when I heard the first
“WAHH!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN HOT!!!”

I sat back and smiled…
“Yes I know…. some more she’s an exclusive Nuffnanger” (which makes any girl more attractive to the guys who work at Nuffnang… I know.. we’re sick.. we’re all sick!!!).
The girls on the other hand…. well you would expect the girls to look over and say
“CHEH!!! You guys have no taste lar!”.

But they all looked over and were speechless for a few seconds until I said
“HOT LEH!?!??!”

And they all nodded their head in sequence and said
“Yes… really hot”.

We were indulging in the excitement when one of the girls burst our bubble and asked
“Got boyfriend ar?”

I replied
“SURE GOT BF LAR!!!! And I can tell you that NONE of us in this office here stand a chance… why?? Because the world is not fair… in case you haven’t noticed already… all the hot girls are always with the Ah Bengs… and you guys are not Ah Bengs!”

And it’s true.

Somehow, Ah Bengs are just more attractive to hot girls.

All my hot friends are with Ah Bengs. Even one of my ex-gfs left me for an Ah Beng.

My brother once told me that no hot girl wants to date a good guy. They want to date the bad boys.. and try to turn them good (at least until they realize that it’s not gonna happen).

That’s right.

You can go up to the girl and say
“Hi Lily. My name is John Rowling and I am a VP at Goldman Sachs, the youngest VP in the history of the firm and did I mention that I was also featured on Forbes and BusinessWeek Magazine.”

Lily will not sound impressed and won’t even give you any attention at all.

But if Ah Beng goes up to her and say
“Hello Lily. My name is Lee Ah Beng… I drive a car with a BIG EKZOS (exhaust)”

Lily would fall to her knees and say
“OOOOoooooohhh…. HOW BIG?!?!?“
Ah Beng by then would feel assured of himself and say
“Veli veli BIG… can fit three papayas inside… so you wan to go hang out? I promise I will be good boyfriend and I don’t have a job now so I can spend all my time with you!”

By then Lily would be squealing away
“OOOHH… TELL ME MORE… TELL ME MORE!!!!”

“Well my Ekzos… GOT HELLO KITTY WAN ALSO”.

And Ah Beng gets Lily.

All the other guys…. like us… get left behind and it doesn’t matter if you have a good job and drive a Mercedes or BMW… you just don’t have the STYLE, the HAIR COLOUR, the EXHAUST, the FOUL WORDS and the CHARM to be an Ah Beng.

Face it!

Life is such!

The pretty girl will never date you 🙁

Doesn’t it suck to NOT be an Ah Beng 🙁

I was a big fan of the computer game Hitman.

It’s just hard to NOT love a game like that especially when you’re a guy (yes this is the part where the ladies come in, shake their heads and say “tsk tsk.. men and violence”)

I loved it not because it was just one of those silly games where you go in and shoot monsters for no damn reason but because it was a game that required a little bit of thinking.

Like you can’t just go into a house shooting your guns of glory and killing everyone there.

No you’ll have to kill the guard, steal the guard’s clothes, climb into the window.. etc etc… and yes I know it’s a longer process to get a job done but hey it’s more fun that way!

Naturally when the movie came out… I was overexcited but yet worried.
Overexcited because I had waiting a long time for this movie to come out.

Worried because… my expectations of it were so high. I knew I was going to be disappointed somehow.

Yet, I came out of the cinema GLEAMING!!!

IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!
PERFECT!!!

Only thing that bugged me was that Timothy Olyphant’s voice didn’t quite fit the role and it would be nice to have Vin Diesel’s voice in there but that didn’t bother me too much.Heck and the best thing about the movie is that unlike other action movies, they wasted no time on romantic love scenes. You would think the action hero like Hitman will fall in love with a hot chick and get it going somewhere in the middle of the movie right?

Not in this movie!!!

The hot chick tried to seduce the Hitman but he didn’t go for it.

Now a man who can withstand the seduction of a hot chick is A MAN (Possibly a gay man but a man nevertheless)!!!

Take for example this beautiful lady here.

Guys, if this beautiful japanese chick tried to seduce you would you be able to fight her off?
The answer that most of you would give is NO.

But some of you cocky dudes will say “YES… I BOLEH TAHAN”.

In which case I will ask you another question.

If Leah Dizon tried to seduce you would you be able to withstand her?

The ONLY ANSWER to that question is NO!!!

IF YOU SAID YES THEN LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR…

AND CALL YOURSELF A DAMN LIAR!!!

THEN BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FOR LYING IS A SIN!!!

A SIN I TELL YOU!!!

LEAH DIZON IS SO HOT SHE WOULD BURN A HOLE THROUGH MY COUCH IF SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME NOW.

Okay… how the hell did I get from talking about Hitman to Leah Dizon.

Alright back to Hitman.

Okay so watch Hitman ok!

Here’s the trailer.

I thought it was awesome!!!

The best movie I’ve seen this year (Don’t count Transformers lar!!!)

And I’m not saying that just because I’m a guy ok?

The girls I watched it with thought it was fantastic too. Though they wished there were some love scenes. Ishh…. girls… want love scenes go watch City of Angels lar…

Hitman is too macho for love.

Back when in high school at Saints Xaviers Institution (SXI), I had a friend there named Rayson Goh. We lost contact after we left Form 5 and it has been many years since I last saw him but I still remember him very well.

Today, I just got word from another ex-SXI friend taht Rayson’s sister got kidnapped today.3 guys grabbed her right outside her work place in the Hicom Glenmarie Industrial Park and forced her into a silver Toyota Camry.

What the hell is the world coming to now such that you can’t be a woman and go to work without fear of getting KIDNAPPED by 3 guys who want to do who knows what with you!

The poor girl’s name is Dora Goh Wei Wei, 25 years old and 155cm tall with curly hair.

If you see her or have any idea of where she is please call Rayson at

016-4611896 or 019-2677698

So I think it’s about time I closed the applications for Boss Stewie’s girlfriend.

Here are some interesting things about the results.

31 were the number of people who applied to be my girlfriend.

4 of which were guys

27 of which were girls

1 of them was my client

9 was the highest number when asked “How many sexual partners have you had?”

7 of them said they wanted to go out with me so I will “give them more ads”

14 of which said they wanted to go out with me because they thought I had a sense of humour

1 of which answered “69, missionary, doggie, filthy sanchez, hot carl, wheelbarrow, u name it i do it” when asked the question “List any special skills you have that might be relevant to this position.”

29 of which claimed to be virgins

27 of which probably lied about being virgins

Haha!

Everyone remember Suanie?

The girl in the middle of this picture.She just recently got pimped by Pink Pau as one of the most humble celebrity bloggers around.

Just a short while ago she messaged me on MSN

suanie.net says: (3:55:28 PM)
what are you wearing
suanie.net says: (3:55:31 PM)
eh sorry wrong window bye

Naturally my reply to her one hour later when I saw the message was

Stewie… says: (4:51:55 PM)
HAHAHA
Stewie… says: (4:51:57 PM)
MAHAAAI U KINKY SHITT
Stewie… says: (4:52:00 PM)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stewie… says: (4:52:12 PM)
i am wearing nothing.. but a silk red thong
Stewie… says: (4:52:17 PM)
and i’m feeling hot for you

suanie.net says: (4:52:23 PM)
HOLY F*CK


SCREENSHOT REMOVED
Why??? Because she begged.. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!


And I have A SCREENSHOT TO PROVE IT!!!

HAHAHAHAHA SUANIE SUANIE!!!

SO CUTE LAR YOU!!!

After my business meeting in Singapore on Thursday, I hopped on a flight straight back to Penang for the weekend.

Every now and then I try to make it a habit to come back to Penang most importantly to see my family and remind my parents that they still have a third son, but also to soak in a bit of island life.

How different is life in Penang from KL? Take yesterday for example, it was dinner time and I went along with some friends to this hawker centre that was at the backyard of this old bungalow house right by the sea.
There were all kinds of hawker food by the sea, everything from your usual Penang Char Kuey Teow to even French Food with a chef really from France,
and Wunderbar German Sausages… all at a fraction of what you would pay in KL for the same thing.
We took a place on one of the tables by the sea and sat down to enjoy the sea breeze and start doing what we like to call “Talking Cock”.

In no time the food will come.

I had the typical Char Hor Fun

but one of my other friends on the table even had this macaroni and cheese bake thing.

You can’t help but take a look around at the other patrons of this hawker centre and notice that you have everyone from the typical tourists

to more tourists

and to the true blue Penangites!

And you know what’s the best part of all this?

In Penang, we can wear whatever we want when going anywhere, even if we go to the nicest shopping malls here and I take advantage of that.

No accidentally running into clients in public… so I take every opportunity I have to wear silly shirts, like this one that Nicole gave me.

Shirts like those make me happy. So funny how whenever I walk around, everyone stares at my chest to read what my shirt says.

Words just attract attention. Especially big ones.

I remember when I was in London, I used to share a flat with this really hot British Born Hong Kong girl.

She loves to wear pants like this.

And I find myself always staring down at her ass reading the words even if I already know what they say from before. I can’t help it.. big words just BEG you to read them.

Let me prove a point.

DON’T READ THE NEXT LINE!!!

DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO READ THIS LINE?!?!?!

See? You read it anyway didn’t you.

Fortunately that friend of mine is a nice girl, and she enjoyed the attention… right Julia? 😛

Anyway, whatever shirt I was wearing could NOT even come close to the shirt another shirt another one of us was wearing.I mean.. how do you compete with a tag line like that?

You just can’t… You can’t!!!

Anyway after we’re done with our dinner and have had enough time talking cock and enjoying the full moon that was coming up,
we would all adjourn and head home.

As I leave the old bungalow house, I would come heads on to a number of office buildings, one of which (the one in the center) is where our Nuffnang Penang office is located.

That is the fascinating thing about Penang.

You have a bit of a tropical island kind of feel, and at the same time you have a bit of a city feel with all the skyscrapers we have around.

After dinner, we’ll all take a slow drive home and since it’s Saturday night, it’s time to go out.

So we go home, take off our silly shirts and dress up a little.
Now in every city in the world, there HAS to be a place where people can go to POSE and act cool.

In Penang, that place is a seaside bar called QE2.

That’s right, I said seaside bar. Yes we eat by the sea, and party by the sea too 😛

Now if I were an economist (which I actually am by training), I would consider measuring the performance of the economy in terms of people’s drinking habits.

Why?

Because here’s what I notice.

When the economy is booming (and all my friends feel rich), all my friends who go out will always buy bottles of good whiskey or vodka to drink.

When the economy is not exactly booming, all my friends… well… we drink beer, the cheapest option.So cheap that even the girls in our group are shy to show their faces on my blog thinking

“I can’t be seen just drinking a few bottles of beer in QE2… no!!! no!!! I can only be seen if we’re drinking Premier or Blue Label.”

Too bad for you guys because this particular girl who covered her face is actually a really hot Penang girl. But fret no more, she’ll be coming to KL to finish up her studies soon… so KL guys, please ensure you’re single by then.

We spend the rest of the night there drinking in the rather open air seaside environment and people-watching.
Always interesting to see how some guys and girls pose in bars and clubs.

The poser guys who are often a little red from the alcohol would see each other then shout out loud
“BRO!!! HOW ARE YOU!?!?!? LONG TIME NO SEE MAN!!! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COME HERE TOO!!!”

Of which the translation of that is often
“Bro… I know we don’t really know each other but act like you know me damn well okay? I got some chicks behind me that I need to impress”.The poser girls on the other hand would scream like this when they see a fellow poser girl friend.
“AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And then hop like little birdies to hug each other like they’ve never seen each other for 10 years when the truth is they just saw each other at the same time same place last week.

Of course the next question is.. do any of my friends act like this?No… we’re more like the more passive crowd like this couple you see here.

We sit down… talk, joke… laugh… and sometimes when we run out of jokes to tell… we just sit there looking bored.

We really should start learning to pose one day though….

Posing is an art!

All pictures in this entry are taken by my trusty Panasonic DMX FX-33

Yesterday I left my dear KL city for Singapore.

I’m here in Singapore for business and also possibly to catch up with a few Nuffnangers here in Singapore. Dammit it feels like forever since I was last in Singapore. Time sure flies.

I actually happened to read Pinksterz’s blog this morning and happened to notice that she posted up one of these fun applications for anyone to apply to be her boyfriend.Which actually reminded me of something!

Months ago during some drinks with friends and after being teased repeatedly for being ‘married-to-my-job’, my drunk-self was STOOPID enough to agree to a bet with my friends that by 31st December 2007, I will have a girlfriend.

What was I thinking right? I mean, there I was thinking that hey… how bad can it be, it’s so many months from now and I’m sure by then I would have found the time to find someone.

Well… I just realized that I now have ONE month left to New Year’s and I ain’t got a girlfriend yet!

And it doesn’t help that Samantha here keeps rejecting me by flashing cameras in my eyes every time I border the subject!!!
So everyone, before it’s too late and I lose the bet (which is actually a bottle of expensive whiskey. I know quite fahney right my friends… making a bet when drunk… but betting for more alcohol to get even more drunk.)

APPLY!!!!

Please NOTE that it says GIRLfriend… so guys… don’t try to be funny!!!

(No I’m kidding guys, go ahead and apply to be my ‘girlfriend’.. it’ll be funny and I might even post your applications up hahahahahaha)