Today is my 31st Birthday. This one really crept up on me. It’s like I always felt I was in my twenties and I just realized today that I’m well in my 30s. I thought back to about 10 years ago to how I felt when I first turned 21 and compared it to how I feel today at age 31.
Here’s how I felt at age 21.
1) I felt “grown-up”
I was still a student so I wasn’t in any way financially independent yet however 21 is that age where you’re legal for anything in any country. It’s legal for you to go clubbing, legal for you to drink in the states, and legal for you to go to jail if you commit a crime. I felt grown up that I could now walk into any casino confidently and flash my ID.
2) I thought about my future
At age 21 I knew I was at the tail end of my university education so I did kinda know what I wanted to do. At that point I believe I still wanted to be an investment banker. I imagined working life to be dull and stressful and nothing like student life because a lot of people told me student life was always the best.
Of course I didn’t totally enjoy my student life so I had this impression that working life was gonna be really bad if it’s really worse than student life. Turns out I actually ended up liking working life more than my student life.
I was excited about the things I was going to achieve in the next 10 years. For some reason I didn’t think much about the starting a family yet or getting married as part of my achievements but really just thought about work or career achievements.
3) I wanted to have a huge birthday celebration
Alcohol, music, dancing and lots and lots and lots of friends. That was how I wanted to celebrate my 21st year. 21 is a big number after all. It’s the number that most parents give their kids a “key” as if to say you’re an adult now and can make your own decisions. Because I had lots of friends my birthday party was going to be huge. I was gonna invite everyone, and the most obvious place to have one was at a club. The club seemed to meet all my criteria.
Now I compared that to how I feel about turning 31 now.
1) I feel old
Not old old but I feel a lot more vulnerable than I did before. I’m quickly approaching the age where I have to worry about health and perhaps that’s why I made a resolution last year to cycle or exercise more and play less golf.
2) I thought about my kids’ future
By this point I kinda know where my future was heading so instead I find myself thinking a lot about my kids’ future. Which school with Fighter go to, how will his friends in school treat him, will he get bullied?
Is Penny going to be a happy kid or a grumpy kid? Will she go to a female liberal arts college like her mother?
I think of all these things and less about my future. The realization hit me that I don’t live for myself so much anymore. I live for my family.
3) I didn’t want a huge birthday celebration
The thing age and having a family does to you is that it takes away a lot of time that you have to mingle. So I hang out with a lot less friends now and during my birthday celebrations I opt for something simple. Maybe just a dinner and an early starting one too so that Fighter and Penny can be awake for it.
My birthday today so far is rather uneventful. I’m spending it like how I spend any other Saturday. Coffee in the morning, cycling in the afternoon and spending the rest of my time playing with my kids. I thought hard to see if there was anything else I would rather do but the answer always came back as a no.
Perhaps its true that celebrating birthdays get less important to you as you get older. At least until you hit a really old age.
So happy birthday to me. My wish is that I would be able to spend many many birthdays more with close friends and my family.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space