Yee Hou came to Penang to visit not too long ago and I managed to find some time to meet up with him for breakfast.

To all of you guys who don’t know, Penangnites don’t have scrambled eggs & toast for breakfast.

We go to COFFEE SHOPS like this.
Where we have all sorts of people there that eat food like THIS.

With people from KL like THIS

Now let me tell you a bit about us Penang people.

Whenever I tell people that I’m from Penang they go “Wah Penang people damn kiam siap wan (stingy)”.

I always defended my people.

WE ARE NOT KIAM SIAP!!!! NO NO NOT AT ALL!!!

The same thing I was trying to drum into Yee Hou’s head and it all was fine and rosy until I saw this sign.

“WILL CHARGE RM0.30 PER PERSON FOR THOSE NOT ORDERING DRINKS… THANK YOU!”

BLARRDY HELL..

SUMMORE DARE TO SAY “THANK YOU!” AT THE END OF THE NOTE.

I personally feel that is too much already! I mean, if I were to go to Coffee Bean with 10 friends and sit on a table with only one friend ordering a drink (while the rest drink water)…. then fine… go ahead and charge me that 30 sen.

But I’m at a KOPITIAM.

No air-con, no nice chairs to sit on, no coffee table to put handphone and look cool and hardly any chicks like this to look at.

AND THEY WANT TO CHARGE ME 30 SEN IF I DON’T ORDER A DRINK?!?!

It’s just gonna be a matter of time before I walk into a kopitiam and see a sign like this.

Shame on you and YOUR LOUSY KIAM SIAP KOPITIAM!!!

PS: Eh Linsey, Leon, Matt, Rayvin…. wanna go there for breakfast tomorrow?

Apparently Shireen nominated my tiny blog for the Best Business Blog category in the Blogger’s Choice Awards.

I’m flattered Shireen.

Thanks very much, though I was a little embarrassed when she first told me about it since… who the hell would vote for my blog.

But I checked in today and I surprisingly found 7 votes!

To the 7 of you who voted, thank you very much… but I’m not much of a blogging award kind of person.

The joys I get from blogging are far from any recognition I get for the things I write on this blog.

I love blogging not because of any fame or money that I could potentially earn, but because it gives me a private space to share my thoughts, views and experiences with the most wonderful and responsive readers that any blogger could ever ask for.

If that doesn’t make me lucky enough, the list keeps growing with hilarious readers joining in on the comments like Hor Ny who consistently makes me laugh with his replies.. and Giovoni who seems to be this very mysterious Fortune Teller that keeps advising me on what to expect next (there are so many more of you out there that I didn’t manage to name but that doesn’t mean you’re any less important).

That to me… is far from what any award can ever bring me.

So instead of voting for someone like me… go support Kid Chan and vote for him. The man deserves to win.

They did give me this thing to place on my blog’s sidebar though.

To tell everyone that this blog got nominated….

But I think I’ll pass.

On another note…

Check out Shireen’s blog.

She apparently broke the Nuffnang Da Vinci Code.

LOL Shireen.

Sorry I wasn’t able to reply your MSN messages that night Shireen. I’ve been so swamped with work it’s not even funny.

Okay you guys came out with such creative answers to the last question, that it makes the story I have look like crap.

If you haven’t read the creative ideas my dear readers came up with to sell this stupid piece of plastic, then please click here to view the previous post and read the comments.

Okay, here’s the answer.

This stupid piece of plastic that I’m holding here is supposed to be…..

*Drum roll please*

A SCREEN FILTER… A STUPID SCREEN FILTER THAT COSTS RM25.

Now screen filters are meant to be placed on your computer monitor to reduce glare and radiation.

Of course, there is no real way for you to naturally tell whether it really reduces radiation or not (unless you carry one of those FBI devices or unless you’re Mighty Mouse).

But you can see if it reduces glare or not… and if it does.. by how much.

So I ran a little test.

Before..
AFTER

See any difference?

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE (or at least not much of a difference).

Then I decided to cover half the screen with the “filter” to have a more face to face comparison on whether the “filter” brings any value at all.

So I took this picture (Notice half the “filter” is on the left half of the screen).

Do you see a difference?

Not much apart from the fact that there’s a stupid piece of plastic in front of the monitor.

Think about it, if each of these pieces of plastic costs 50 sen, and you can sell it for RM25, you make 50 times the amount you put in.

So if you sell a hundred pieces of this. it will cost you RM50 for all the plastic.

And you the amount of money you can earn when you sell it turns out to be… RM2,500.

What a brilliant idea this is.

Of course the next step would be to find someone who would believe your story and buy it.

In this case… that someone was….

MY DEAR SISTER!!!

I was walking around my home a few days ago when I suddenly heard my sister shout to herself when she was sitting in front of the computer

“F*CKING HELL!!! KENA CHEATED!!!!”.

I went over to find out what happened and she told me the whole story.

She went to look for a screen filter at this shop in Penang. She had a good idea what screen filters look like since her college had those hung from the top of their monitors and it really reduced glare and the strain on her eyes.

So one afternoon she walked into a shop confidently and asked for a screen filter.

The salesman at the shop took out this stupid piece of plastic and showed it to her
“This is our best screen filter… it costs RM25 and it’s super thin, doesn’t make your monitor look ugly.. you won’t even know it’s there”. (He was right about this… you really wouldn’t know if it was there or not)

But my sister was suspicious at first.

She said
“Eh??? I thought screen filter is much bigger than this and hangs from the top of the monitor?”

The salesman said
“Oh no … don’t worry.. that wan is for CRT monitors, this one is for LCD monitors… this one better”.

So my sister believed him, bought the “filter” and went home.

The minute her feet touched the warm wooden floor of home, she ran to her computer and placed the “filter” there only to find that… IT DOESN’T EVEN STICK ON TO THE SCREEN!!!!

That’s when she yelled
“F*CKING HELL!!!!! KENA CHEATED!!!!”.

That’s when I came over only to see her in front of the computer surfing the net with one hand and holding the “filter” to the monitor with the other.

So there you go everyone, the conman wins again.

Now we don’t know what to do with the stupid piece of plastic. Anyone have an idea?

Maybe we’ll start wearing it like this… start a new trend.

It won’t be long before the teenagers at school start saying
“DUDE… I GOTTA GET MYSELF A STUPID PIECE OF PLASTIC… I SAW MY BROTHER WEARING IT AND IT IS SOOO COOOL DUDEEE”.

PS: Some people might actually know something that I don’t… that this stupid piece of plastic actually works! Please enlighten me if that’s true… and tell me how I could test it or at least find a way to see the difference.

Okay I’m going to show all of you something.

Take a look at this piece of transparent square plastic I am holding up.This piece of plastic probably costs 50 sen at most. Probably even less.

Now the question is this.

If I gave you this piece of plastic, what would you try to sell it as to make the most money as you can out of it?

The reason I’m asking all of you this question is because I have a brilliant answer to that which I will reveal within the next two days.. HAHAHA.

Okay… so tell me what you’ll sell it as, and realistic suggestions only please.

Don’t say “I will sell it as a time machine!“…

It has to be something that an average person would at least consider buying.

WE RAN OUT OF CHEEZELS!!!

Just so you all know, Cheezels is to Nuffnang what Petrol is to Cars.

Without Cheezels… Nuffnang just doesn’t have the strength to move on.

This week has been a rather stressful week for all of us at Nuffnang having had to work in the office till the wee hours of the morning and wake up the next day to make it in time for some meetings.

But we all kept our motivation…. because of our Cheezels!!!

So you can imagine my horrid after I got a call from one of my colleagues the other day saying that we ran out of Cheezels.

Ming and I had to rush to Tescos in the midst of our hectic day to stock up on our supply of CHEEZELS.

We chucked in packets of Cheezels like there was going to be no tomorrow.

And Nuffnang is saved again.
WOOHOO!!!

Now we can all go back to work.

I just walked into the office a while ago, turned on my computer and received over 30 e-mails that were sent in the last 12 hours.

E-mail from clients, potential clients and bloggers.

Yet, the knee-jerk reaction for me is to always look at what bloggers e-mail me about.

Then an e-mail from James Yeang of Friedbeef.com caught my attention.

The e-mail titled
“Wow you guys are on the top searches list on technorati now”

And on it was this link
http://technorati.com/pop/
With my eyes still blurry after the late night I had, I checked out the link only to find that it’s true!

Nuffnang is among the Top Searches on Technorati.

The pressure on us to perform rises since I’d imagine people’s expectations of Nuffnang are bound to rise.

Thank you guys again for all your support including those of you who’re searching Nuffnang on Technorati every day to see what good (or bad) things people write about us.

Now it’s time for me to get back to work. So much to do… so many bloggers to satisfy…

If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated in two days… it’s because I’ve been in shock.

Just two days ago I was a happy Stewie.

I jumped out of the bed in the morning, sang Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” in the shower, and had corn beef with bread for breakfast.

I was a Happy Stewie!

Happy Stewie then jumped into his car in the morning with Ming and Jazz (another Nuffnang team member), and we drove off to work.

I was driving down the road of a nice quite suburb. Ming and I were debating issues as usual when suddenly I saw a flock of birds from the side of the road take off and fly across my car.

I nearly hit all of them with my car… but I did hit ONE.

“POOF“, I heard the sound of a bird reflect off the bonnet of my car.

As it impacted the front of my car in mid-air, it suddenly dropped dead towards the side of the road.

Ming shouted in response “F*CK DUDE… DID YOU JUST KILL A BIRD?“

Boss Stewie is a murderer 🙁

Please forgive me oh leetle birdy… Please don’t come back to haunt me…

Aunty Lilian recently sent me an e-mail saying that she was doing this “Hottest Male Blogger” contest on her blog.

She asked me to answer some questions and to pick a photo of myself.

I decided that I could of course pick one of those gaya looking photos where I’m posing with sunglasses, looking into the sky wtih wind blowing against my hair.

But nooo… I instead gave her THIS picture.
What in the world was I high on when I did that…?

Anyway let me tell you who’s going to win.

Sapiensbryan is going to win!

Let me tell you why.

Beauty is relative.

For example, you put an ugly guy next to an even uglier guy, the ugly guys looks like Brad Pitt.

But you put an ugly guy next to Brad Pitt, and Brad Pitt looks like he was made in Heaven.

Allow me to illustrate.

This is a picture of Ming and I.

I don’t look too bad right? (Ming: HAHAHAHAHAHAA).

Now this is a picture of SapiensBryan and I.

Now be honest with me… at first glance.. did ANY of you girls out there EVEN notice the guy in the white shirt?

NO RIGHT??? And even if you did… you were thinking

“WHAT THE HELL WAS BRYAN STANDING NEXT TO?!?!”

PS: Check out Lilian’s post on the Hottest Blogger awards.

Keep up to date with her blog to see my prophecy come true!!! Bwahahah Sapiensbryan will win….

Ahhh cybercafes….

Where I wasted soo much of my life.

I used to spend almost 10 hours each day in a cybercafe playing Counterstrike back when it was still very very new (Beta 3).

It was ridiculous! If I had spent 1/10th of that time doing something productive like read a book, I would be a much better man today.

I was talking to a friend of mine and we started talking about funny things we’re heard happen in Cybercafes.

Story 1

This actually happened in my college library many years ago. You know how college libraries these days come fully equipped with the best computers you can find for students to do research on.

Once I was studying in the library and I saw a rather peculiar guy consistently refreshing his Hotmail mailbox. Wondering what the heck he was doing, I peered closer only to find that he actually had a little browser window opened.

And in that little browser window on the right corner of his screen, was a picture of a naked girl.. or at least a quarter of a picture of a naked girl like this.

The dude was surfing porn, but he was too shy to open the entire browser window, so he decided to instead open a small window to view part of a picture.

Then scroll up down (and left right) to slowly see the rest.

The poor poor dudeeeee….

Story 2

Some guys were playing Counterstrike in a cybercafe. You know how cybercafes are, noisy, smokey and full of guys cursing
“NIAMA!!! WHAT A FAKE SHOT!!!”.

Then somewhere in the midst of a high pressured Counterstrike game, a 15-year old boy managed to sneak up behind his opponent (in the game) and knife the opponent to death.

The gangster-looking person playing the opponent on the other side of the cybercafe shouted
“BASTARD YOU!!! BELAKANG MARI!!! NO SKILL AR?!?!?”

The 15-year old boy laughed
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU LAH DIN SEE ME COMING… YOU NOOOB!!!!!”.

The gangster dude then got up from his seat and walked towards the boy who was busy playing away on the next round.

The gangster took out a REAL KNIFE… and stabbed the kid in the back.
Then he laughed
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! YOU DIN SEE ME COMING!!! YOU NOOOB!!! KENA BELAKANG MARI!!!”

I think he got arrested after that but I’m not sure.

Story 3

This is my favourite story of all the ones I’ve heard, which actually happened to a friend of a friend.

Again because of a very high-pressured game of Counterstrike late one night, a few guys got up from their seats and started shouting at each other, calling each other cheaters.
Then one of them said
“OKAY!!! COME WE SETTLE OUTSIDE”.

And they all went outside the cybercafe to fight it out.

It didn’t take long before the police arrived and broke up the fight.

But the funny thing is this.

When the police arrived, they walked into the cybercafe and saw everyone playing away at their computers not knowing anything.

One of the policemen walked around the dark noisy room full of computers and turned on his torch light to shine at all the guys there.

He then shouted
“SEMUA BALIK RUMAH SEKARANG!!!”.

One of the guys turned at the policeman and said
“Boss… last game last game!!!”.

Yes.. it is true.. I am guilty of the above crime.

I haven’t been updating often enough.

I’m terribly sorry my dear readers but these days I’ve just been sooo busy I can barely find time for anything.

I will update very soon before you all know it ok?