Every morning I wake up about 7am.

The first thing I do is head straight for a hot shower to wake myself up and to make sure that I don’t fall asleep again.

Then I go brush my teeth and sit on my laptop for a while to check my work e-mails.

Then I walk out of my room and into the small dining room in my apartment.
That’s when I normally prepare myself breakfast.

Breakfast for me is always simple: Cereals… either Koko Krunch or Milo cereals.
Then I grab my bowl of cereals and head straight for the TV in living room to watch E! while eating.

This morning, it was a little different.

I was watching the True Hollywood Story of Brandy when I took my first bite of the cereals that morning.

At first I thought I tasted a bit of banana and I shouted in my empty apartment
“WHO THE HELL PUT BANANA IN MY KOKO KRUNCH?!?!?!”

Then the taste of the banana really began to sip in and my mouth spasmed.

Now I like bananas… but I don’t like eating bananas with anything else.

Yes that means I don’t like banana split, I don’t like banana juice and nothing of the sort.

After I puked out the milk, I went to investigate where the banana came from.

It definitely wasn’t the Koko Krunch.

So it had to be the milk.

I took a look at the milk carton.
Nothing out of the ordinary.

Just the usual Hi Calcium, Hi Protein and LOW FAT milk that I drink (That’s right, I drink low fat milk.. all you thin people go ahead and laugh!).

Then I turned the carton around only to see THIS.

BANANA FLAVOURED MILK?!?!?!

WHO THE HELL DRINKS KOTEK FLAVOURED MILK!?!?!

I started beating myself up at first for buying it in the first place.. if I didn’t like it.

Then I began to wonder that hey… someone else should share the blame with me.

I mean, if you’re selling SUSU PISANG, shouldn’t you AT LEAST put it in BIGGER PRINTS that the milk was PISANG MILK!?!?!

Heck, if I were Prime Minister, I would even push for a law that enforces
ALL PISANG FLAVOURED MILK TO HAVE WARNING LABELS ON THEM THAT SAY

“WARNING: CONTENT CONTAINS SUSU PISANG AND MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR KOKO KRUNCH!!!”

Malaysia!!!

Malaysia is one heck of a developing country.

So much that I’m not even sure if we should be considered a developing country anymore.

Look at what we have.

Okay we have our own Twin Towers that is one of the tallest buildings in the world (and very frankly one of the most beautiful ones too).

We have our own National car that in spite of all its hiccups, is still something to be proud of.

We have our own satellites in space.

And now we have our very own… INSTANT MESSENGER…iTalk Buddy

This is got to be interesting.

To be honest, I first heard about TM’s iTalk Buddy when they were planning a campaign with Nuffnang. As soon as I got access to the site I downloaded the messenger only to find that… IT DOESN’T WORK ON MY MAC!!!!

But I really wanted to see our first Malaysian instant messenger so I got another computer and installed it there.

I must say that I am IMPRESSED.

IMPRESSED I TELL YOU!

It looks REALLY COOL… and the functions.. heck, it’s not just a simple messenger, there is a voice chat feature like Skype and it even allows you to make calls to conventional phones.

And believe it or not, the PINK layout somehow didn’t bother me.

Now the other cool thing about the iTalk Buddy is this.

THE MOJI PET!!!

Now I am not new to Moji, as in I’ve heard about it for quite a lot and even signed up with their website ages ago.

It’s this little Tamagochi like pet that lives in a cyberworld. You have to take care of it… and it shows your mood to anyone you’re talking to.

I think the pet is ADORABLE.

Go check out the instant messenger @ www.italkbuddy.com.my. It’s really quite cool.

Just yesterday I, along with another 35 Nuffnangers were invited to an event organized by Microsoft.

Microsoft developers flew in from as far as Germany to come here just to speak to the small select group of us before their Tech Ed Convention that they will be holding this week.
The event was well-planned, held at the right venue and even good food was served throughout, all courtesy of Microsoft.

They revealed Microsoft Popfly, Homeserver and Silverlight which I must say that I was quite impressed with. The creativity that it takes to come up with ideas like that is truly something.

Anyway, something else bought me over that night.

There was a lucky draw and they were giving away some Microsoft products, everything from Software to even Hardware like the really expensive Microsoft Keyboard and laser mouse apparently worth RM300.

And guess what… I WON THE MICROSOFT KEYBOARD AND MOUSE SPECIALLY DESIGNED FOR MAC.

Which wasn’t hard of course… since there were only 4 Mac users there in the conference. Yah I know… what were we thinking right? It’s like a a Liverpool fan going to a Manchester United Fan Club meeting.

I asked Nic from Microsoft
“Nic… you guys intentionally bring these Mac products so you can single us Mac users out from the crowd huh?“.

Nic: Yes… we intentionally do that so we know who you are and we follow you home, tap your lines and stalk you until you go back to using Windows.

LOL.

Anyway….

AHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAA

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

AHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I LOVE MY NEW KEYBOARD!!!!

MESSAGE ME… MESSAGE ME ON MSN RIGHT NOW SO I CAN TYPE MORE ON MY NEW KEYBOARD… MSG ME!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t know what to blog about today.

I really didn’t know what to blog about today.

So I was bumming around watching TV when I suddenly came across MTV Cribs.
I like MTV Cribs… I mean you get to see the gigantic homes of celebrities.

Their beautiful cars.

Their wardrobes full of Gucci and LV.
And even their fridges that are well stocked to the max.

Well so I thought to myself… “HEY… maybe my readers might want to see my crib”.

Unfortunately I don’t have a gigantic home.

or a nice car.

But I do have a WARDROBE!!!!

BEHOLD!!!

BOSS STEWIE’S WARDROBE!!!
I have a BIG ASS WARDROBE!!!

And check out my clothes.

I have a few shirts for work.

And the rest of my casual clothes and underwear are in this pile.

No seriously.

I don’t have many clothes… I don’t… because I’m poor.

And poor people don’t have many clothes. They wash their clothes as much as they can.

But I do have t-shirts that I’m really proud off.

Like my Mr. Happy T-shirt that many of you have already seen.
Or my Mr. Rude T-shirt that most of you haven’t yet seen.
Or my uhmmm… other T-shirt that ermm…. I would rather not have any of my girlfriends see.

Or even a T-shirt that my dear friends at Allyhunt happened to give me.

Believe it or not, I proudly wear this T-shirt!

My clients aren’t just clients… they’re my friends and you support your friends right?

Anyway, moving on… MY FRIDGE.
BEHOLD!!! THE PLACE WHERE I GET ALL MY FOODIES!!!

WHERE ALL THE NUTRITIOUS FOODIES THAT HELP ME GROW ARE KEPT!!!

Inside the fridge I have…

Uhmm…

Some wine… uhmm… beer… uhmm… then some more wine… and uhmm…

OK OK OK NEXT NEXT NEXT

BEHOLD!!! The upstairs of my fridge!!!

Uhmm.. ice… ice and a bit of Sara Lee’s chocolate ice-cream and something wrapped in a Parkson plastic bag that I have no idea what.
And uhmm…

OOKOKOK next next next!!!

MY KITCHEN CABINETS…Uhmm… wine glasses and uhmm…

MOVING ON MOVING ON!!!

Uhmm…. some uhmm… whiskey… and uhmm … more whiskey…. and uhmm

HEY!!! IT’S NOT MINE!!! I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ALL THAT BOOZE!!!

I mean look at me…

LOOK AT ME WHEN I DRINK… LOOK AT MY COLOUR…
DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN DRINK?

WHO DOES THAT REMIND YOU OF?

*hint*

Hint Number 2:

UNDER THE SEA…. UNDER THE SEA… DOWN THERE IT’S WETTER DOWN THERE IT’S BETTER TAKE IT FROM MEEEEEE!!!!!!!

DO I NOT LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY WHO GETS HIGH ON TIRAMISU?!??!

ALL THAT BOOZE ISS NOTTTT MINEEEE!!!!!

Last Sunday, I was casually driving on some nice and empty KL roads.

I love those kind of weekend drives. Nice, relaxing… soothing.. gives you the best opportunity to listen to some of your nice classical music… unlike the kind of traffic we face on weekdays like this.
When suddenly… an idiot spoilt my drive by tail-gating me to the max.

I slowed down and kept to the left lane to allow him to overtake when he came up to my right side and started honking me, staring at me and pointing at me.

I shouted to myself
“WHAT?!?!? WHAT DA FARK?!?! JUST GO LAR DAMMIT!!!”

Ahh road rage at its very best.

The driver then sped off.

A few minutes later, another car came to do the exact same thing to me and I showed him the finger, which was enough to shoo him away.

After a while I started thinking to myself…

“Hmmm… maybe they were trying to tell me something… like maybe my petrol tank was open.

So I stopped the car by the road side, got down and took a look.

My petrol tank was closed but my tire was punctured.

Miraculously I could still drive my car without much of a problem so I decided to head home to change it.

Now EVERY REAL MAN knows how to change his car tire ok?

EVERY REAL MAN!

If you’re a girl and don’t know how to change your car tire, no big deal… but if you’re a guy.. what can you possibly do?

If you’re stranded by the road side, are you going to flag down a cute chick in her pink VW beetle and say
“Excuse me miss.. uhmm.. I donno how to change my car tire wor.. can you help me?”

and what do you think the cute chick will say to you?

You think she’ll say
“Sure… it’s quite normal that men don’t know how to change their own tires.. I’ll help you out.”

or do you think she’ll say
“HAHAHAHAHAHAA YOU LEETLE LEETLE FRENCH POODLE!!!”

So if you really don’t know how to do it.

Listen hard.

First, find the tools to jack the car up and remove the bolts.

You will find it in the back of your boot.
The first thing you have to start with is the car jack to jack your car up (you may or may not choose to losen the nuts first before you do that but up to you).

In front of the rear tire, there is always a hard spot where you can place the jack on. Make sure you put it on that hard spot, and not anywhere else, or you will effectively punch a whole in your car.

Once the car is jacked up.

You can start removing the nuts and when you remove it, you will see this.

Then chuck your punctured tire aside first.

And replace it with the spare tire in the trunk.

And voila.

Your job is done!

See? So easy…

Except that I realized… that in the midst of replacing the tire… I DIRTIED MY NUFFNANG SHIRT…

I just HAD to be wearing a white shirt on that day huh… just HAD to….

Not only that, I even got some dirt even on my face.

Don’t ask how my forehead managed to come in contact with the tire. Even I don’t know.

My old set of glasses was crooked.

Somehow I managed to get away with it since not too many people noticed but I knew I had to change it some time, sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately since the launch of Nuffnang, I have been so caught up with work that I decided to do it later rather than sooner.

Until last week.

Last week I paid a visit to this shop in Gurney Plaza Penang.

And when you go buy a pair of new specs, you have to bring at least ONE chick along with you… so she can tell you whether your new specs gives you better or worse sex appeal.

That particular friend refused to let me take a picture of her to put on my blog.

So this is the best shot I managed to get out of her.

I had a hard time picking out a pair of glasses.

There were just SOO MANY!!!

Now when it comes to specs, I’m a very simple person.

I buy the simplest pair of specs, no brand necessary. So with the lens and all it would normally cost about RM200-RM300.

But my friends and the mystery girl I brought refused to let me buy another ‘cheap’ pair of specs.

They veered my attention away from the showcase I was looking at, and on to one on the wall.

The ones locked up in a solid case. The ones that you know cost 2-3 times the ones I normally buy.

So anyway I tried them on but finally settled on a pair of Oakleys that cost me RM830, though one of my dear friends there managed to help me bargain it all the way down to around RM770.

I thought long and hard about buying such an expensive pair of glasses, thinking again of the question
“Hmm.. how many Nuffnang ads do I have to sell to earn back this RM770.”

Then again, Nuffnang now has campaigns running from Nokia, Honda, Cornetto, Hitz.fm, Nescafe, Airasia and even Twisties. So I thought… bah what the hell.. and went ahead to buy it.

The little nifty new pair of glasses even came with a kickass casing that looked like some sort of bullet.

A lot better than the cheap plastic casing that I’m used to.

Check out my new pair of Oakleys everyone!

Now here is a question to the ladies.

LADIES!!!

Do you prefer… the OLD Boss Stewie…

or… THE NEW!!!
*Please just pay attention to the glasses and ignore the t-shirts I’m wearing.

HAAHAHAHAHA

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I’M DOING!!!!

I’m watching..

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ANG ANG ANG… TO TE MOU DA YE SU KI… DO.. RAE…. MONN….

This is the episode I’m watching right now as updating this blog.

AHAAHHAAH

You can NEVER be too old for Doraemon.

ANG ANG ANG… TO TE MOU DA YE SU KI… DO RAE… MON!!!!

I’ve been watching a lot of TV these days… I go through phases like that.

Sometimes I watch a lot of TV for weeks.. and sometimes I stop for months.

But when I do watch… I cover all sorts of TV shows from Heroes to Desperate Housewives to 24 to all 3 of the CSIs… you name it.

Now I have a couple of TV Heroes.

One of them being…

Jack Bauer of 24
You gotta love the man! He’s not even afraid to torture his own brother for his country.

Now to a certain extent, you gotta pity Jack Bauer. I mean, it’s not easy to do an action tv show/movie where you can’t curse at all.

So poor Jack always has to result to his
“DAMN IT!!!”

Can you imagine the words “DAMN IT”.

Think about it carefully!!!
Ok lets say we have a Malaysian version of Jack Bauer: Hang Bauer.

And he can’t curse on National TV as well so the most he can say is “Damn it!!!”

or in Malay that would “JAHANAM ITU!!!” (That right?).

How hard would that be.

When you’re in the middle of the gun fight, the natural thing for you to say is something that’s easy to say, like the word “F*CK!!!”

But imagine having to say
“JAHANAM ITU!!!”

The poor Jack.

The good news though is.. at least they didn’t ban him from saying “Damn it” and made him say “Darn it!” instead.

Because then 24 would be on the Disney Channel.

In case you didn’t notice how many times Jack Bauer has said “Damn it” on 24… here’s a video to refresh your memory.

Ok next.

HORATIO CAINE OF CSI: MIAMI

My next hero is… HORATIO CAINE!!!

This man…. has made CSI:Miami the most enjoyable CSI of all time.

HE IS THE DA MAN!!!

Now because of his Poser-like role, you either really really hate him or really really love him.

In my case, I really really love da man!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAH HE IS SUCH A POSER BUT YOU GOTTA LOVE HOW HE DOES IT SO WELL!!!!

I especially love the beginning of every CSI episode where he will always put on his glasses and say a cheesy tag line.

Somebody even compiled it here on Youtube.

Check it out.

HORATIO DA MAN!!!

Even Jim Carrey loves him.
HAHAHAHA

I DID… I DID TEE A PUDDY TADT

MERDEKA!!!

MERDEKAA!!!

MERDEKAA!!!

ARGHHH!!!!

I have been single for almost a year now.

Something I have always been very happy about, especially since Nuffnang launched… I have no commitments to hold me back.

But there are times when the feeling of single-hood catches up on me. And no it doesn’t have to come in the form of just seeing happy couples when walking around Ikea furniture shopping for their home (damn I hate those happy couples!!!)

It comes all in the form of a simple invitation.

This Friday, I got invited to this private event for the advertising industry.

I was told that I can “Bring a date”.

Which sounds all fine and dandy right?

Except for one problem.

I HAVE NO BLOODY DATE!!!

And for some reason, I am surrounded with girls who are all attached.

That’s right!!!

YOU CHICKS KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

WHY DO ALL OF YOU STICK AROUND ME?!?!? HUH?!?! GO AWAAY!!!! LEMME ALONE!!!!

So there I am going to be this Friday, when everyone else, and quite a number of our clients are going to be there with their wives and dates.

Then they’ll all ask me
“Oh Timothy!!! You’re here… great to see you mate… who did you come with?”

And I’m going to have to say…
“Oh I came with my pet dog Ah Bop. He’s getting wasted at the bar right now… going to go save him in a sec.”

*Sniff*

Suddenly I begin to feel the way Richard Gere felt in Pretty Woman.

Needing an ‘escort’ to follow him for events like this.

Where is my Julia Roberts? Where where?