Not long ago on an island far far away…. Stewie was stressed.
So Stewie went to release stress
And he decided to release more stress.
So he bought himself some vitamins.
And chucked it into his baby car.
Only to drive home with a smile on his face.
And flip it open when he got back.
And Stewie was happy again.
Stewie *heart* his Precious
Stewie is a happy Stewie.
DON’T ANYONE DARE CALL ME FAT!!!
Last weekend I was in Gurney Plaza again for my weekly posing session at Coffee Bean.
Now shopping malls in KL normally have some events going on during the weekends, sponsored by different companies and Gurney Plaza is no different.
Yes! We have them in Penang too! Contrary to public belief, we aren’t so ulu after all!
Last weekend’s event was some Wedding Studio day planned for the to-be husbands and wives… and also planned to remind single people that they are single and that they’ll die alone on their deathbeds if they don’t quickly find someone to marry.
That’s right… we single people love to be reminded how we lack that other half don’t we? Oooh we love it… it’s soo stimulating when someone asks me
“So… no girlfriend yet ar?”
Almost like a natural high.
The same kind of high when I see booths from all sorts of Wedding Studios all over Penang, encouraging people to get married!
Then… there are the “HAPPY PEOPLE”.
LOOK AT THEM!!!
Smiling away making plans with the Sales Executive of a Marriage Studio… enjoying the thrill of answering questions like
“So… how did you both meet? How long have you been together? How did you propose?”
And listening to the typical answer of the 3rd question.
“Awwwww… SOOOO SWEEETT!!!!”
Next there are those that don’t quite like the 1-1 approach in deciding what kind of photos they want so they go along with another couple for a foursome.
And those who look too young to get married but just think it’s fun pretending to be like a to-be married couple.
ALL THESE “HAPPY PEOPLE”.
I left Gurney Plaza a very very sad man.
Here’s something that might surprise many of you: Believe it or not… I actually do want to get married quick because I love babies!
All I need is to earn some $ to support my family but heck even my dad who’s longing for a grandchild once said to me
“Son… I don’t mind you get married right now.. I don’t even mind if it’s a shotgun marriage… all I want is another grandchild!”
My mum on the other hand is a little more conservative
“Don’t you dare shame the family!!! Make sure you wear “raincoat” or I will disown you”.
Should I listen to my father or my mother?
Last weekend I was in Gurney Plaza again for my weekly posing session at Coffee Bean.
Now shopping malls in KL normally have some events going on during the weekends, sponsored by different companies and Gurney Plaza is no different.
Yes! We have them in Penang too! Contrary to public belief, we aren’t so ulu after all!
Last weekend’s event was some Wedding Studio day planned for the to-be husbands and wives… and also planned to remind single people that they are single and that they’ll die alone on their deathbeds if they don’t quickly find someone to marry.
That’s right… we single people love to be reminded how we lack that other half don’t we? Oooh we love it… it’s soo stimulating when someone asks me
“So… no girlfriend yet ar?”
Almost like a natural high.
The same kind of high when I see booths from all sorts of Wedding Studios all over Penang, encouraging people to get married!
Then… there are the “HAPPY PEOPLE”.LOOK AT THEM!!!
Smiling away making plans with the Sales Executive of a Marriage Studio… enjoying the thrill of answering questions like
“So… how did you both meet? How long have you been together? How did you propose?”
And listening to the typical answer of the 3rd question.
“Awwwww… SOOOO SWEEETT!!!!”
Next there are those that don’t quite like the 1-1 approach in deciding what kind of photos they want so they go along with another couple for a foursome.And those who look too young to get married but just think it’s fun pretending to be like a to-be married couple.
ALL THESE “HAPPY PEOPLE”.
I left Gurney Plaza a very very sad man.
Here’s something that might surprise many of you: Believe it or not… I actually do want to get married quick because I love babies!
All I need is to earn some $ to support my family but heck even my dad who’s longing for a grandchild once said to me
“Son… I don’t mind you get married right now.. I don’t even mind if it’s a shotgun marriage… all I want is another grandchild!”
My mum on the other hand is a little more conservative
“Don’t you dare shame the family!!! Make sure you wear “raincoat” or I will disown you”.
Should I listen to my father or my mother?
It AMAZES me how Southpark manages to get away with jokes like this.
Check it out.
Okay… now after watching the video… be honest and tell me…
HOW MANY OF YOU MADE THE SAME MISTAKE?!
This episode even made it on to CNN.
A friend of one of my readers Daphne recently e-mailed me to spread the word about a play she’s doing, asking if I could help her spread the word and the answer I gave her was… SURE.
She was quick to ask if she had to pay me for it… but nahhh… if there’s anything I could do to help any of my readers (or friends of my readers) I’d be more than happy to do it for free as long as its still under control.
Anyway, here’s information of the play.
———————————
The Oral Stage enters its fourth season with an all-new line-up of original shorts and monologues, a contemporary take on the timeless issues of identity, gender, relationships, meaning and purpose.
Screwed reinforces the fact that being human is nothing short of being screwed, after all. This season’s ensemble stars Waimin Lee, Emily Yoon, Doreen Loo, Gary Ooi, Branavan Aruljothi, Christine Ellis, Prakash Gopalakrishnan, Lam Wai Yee, Zalikha Harun, Erin Victor, Nick Davis, Rachel Lai MS and Elza Irdalynna.
Directed by Kelvin Wong and produced by Christine Ellis. Pieces written by Joyce Hooi, Gary Ooi, Davina Goh, Priya K., Gavin Yap, Patricia Low, Doreen Loo, Kelvin Wong and Rauf Fadzilla. Supported by The Dram Projects, KLPac and The Actors Studio.
After a successful weekend in KLPAC, Screwed will be staged in Penang!
May 4th 2007 @ 8.30 pm May 5th 2007 @ 3.00 pm & 8.30 pm May 6th 2007 @ 3.00 pm
The Actors Studio Greenhall, Penang
Ground Floor, Zhong Zheng School Memorial Centre 32,
Lebuh Light, 10200 Penang
Tickets @ TAS Greenhall, Penang RM25 (Adults) RM15 (Students, senior citizens & the disabled) Ticket Contact
TAS Greenhall @ 04-2635400
For more info – visit http://theoralstage.blogspot.com
Now go go go for it!
And stop reading about my scout log book!
When I was in Primary School, I was a cub scout…. and a DAMN PROUD ONE AT IT TOO.
Being a cub scout is the most innocent fun you can ever have in your life.
All that fun ends when you become a scout in Secondary School because if you’re not too busy marching in the hot sun, you’re chasing girl guides at every Scout Gathering you attend.
But being a cub scout… all you know is… make yourself a nice log book, colour it nice nice with colour pencils… and earn your badges.
I actually went quite far as a cub scout… far enough to get one of those things you sling around your arm… called a Rambu or something.
AND BEHOLD… FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.. I AM REVEALING MY SECRET SCOUT LOG BOOK TO THE WORLD!!!
(Note: I was in Standard 3 when I did this okay so don’t be a bitch!).
If you’re wondering the cover is all about, it basically shows a scout camping by the river.
And when you open up the book and lay it upside down you will see…
JENG JENG JENG!!! THE FULL PICTURE OF THE CAMPSITE!!!
I am such a arteeest… I should’ve went to Lim Kok Wing.
Ok let’s explore the inside.
Now as a cub scout… we have to show how much we lurveee our State and Country so to prove that.. I drew our National Flag and even the Penang State Flag.
Looks very much like the actual flags huh… I know.. I’m quite a good arteestt…
Then can anyone guess what THIS IS?!?!
That my friend… is what I thought Penang Island looked like when I was a cub scout.
Not too far away from how Penang Island actually looks right?
I know… I am an ARTEEST.
As a cub scout in my school, the scout master thought it would be cool if we followed the lessons of the Jungle Book.
So part of our assignments were to draw pictures of Jungle Book Characters.
It’s not easy drawing LIVE animals… but since I was such an ARTEEST, I jumped at the challenge.
This is a picture of Bagheera, the jaguar in Jungle Book.
And of Kathi, the elephant…
Then there’s the easiest… the SNAKE!!!
This is a picture of the MONKEY in Jungle Book.
AND WHO CAN GUESS WHAT THIS IS?!?!!
That is a picture of a ___________________ (Fill in the blank).
Finally, as a scout, we must not only love our country.. but love our KING!
So part of my assignment was to draw this.
Taat Kepada Raja Dan Negara!
And to further prove my worth as a cub scout, I drew a picture of me doing THIS.
Just to be clear… that is supposed to be a picture of me doing the Scout’s Honour and NOT SHOWING SOMEONE THE MIDDLE FINGER!!!
I know… I was such a l337 Arteeeesttt..
That’s why when I told my mum that I was considering going into art college, she said
“Son.. how about you study Economics and become a businessman instead?”
Then I said
“But MUUUUUUMMMMMM……”
And she said
“SON!!! TRUST ME ON THIS… JUST DO AS I SAY AND STAY AWAY FROM ART!!!”
The downs come when you find out you’ve made a mistake somewhere and find it in yourself somewhere to pick yourself up to fix it.
The ups come at the times when you know you’ve done something right or achieved something that you’ve always dreamed of.
One of my dreams was to one day have a massive advertising campaign that runs on print media, television and/or radio… and also on Nuffnang Blogs.
Such a moment came to me just recently.
Just a week or two ago, I remember driving on the roads listening to Mix FM when I suddenly heard a radio ad that caught my attention and made me smile.
It was an ad for MyEG, a new website that allows us to do everything from checking and paying police summons, pay fines and/or DBKL assessment and compounds.
Most importantly, it finally allows us to renew our driver’s license ONLINE. Something I will definitely be using the next time I seek a renewal.
Gone are the days where you have to wake up early in the morning just to go queue up to have your license renewed.
Now the particular attachment that I share with MyEG is that it’s the first time Nuffnang blogs have been involved in a multi-prong marketing campaign alongside other forms of traditional media.
Massive advertising campaigns traditionally cover everything from television, print media, radio… and now we can start to say… blogs too… not just one blog… hundreds of them.
I owe this to James of Mantra, and to MyEG for giving us the opportunity.
So to my dear readers… please support our advertiser by clicking on the MyEG ad right after this post.
Check out their website, sign up and bookmark it. You’re going to need it sooner or later… I know I will.
If you’d like to hear the radio ad I heard in the car that day… here it is.
Yee Hou came to Penang to visit not too long ago and I managed to find some time to meet up with him for breakfast.
To all of you guys who don’t know, Penangnites don’t have scrambled eggs & toast for breakfast.
We go to COFFEE SHOPS like this.
Where we have all sorts of people there that eat food like THIS.
With people from KL like THIS
Now let me tell you a bit about us Penang people.
Whenever I tell people that I’m from Penang they go “Wah Penang people damn kiam siap wan (stingy)”.
I always defended my people.
WE ARE NOT KIAM SIAP!!!! NO NO NOT AT ALL!!!
The same thing I was trying to drum into Yee Hou’s head and it all was fine and rosy until I saw this sign.
“WILL CHARGE RM0.30 PER PERSON FOR THOSE NOT ORDERING DRINKS… THANK YOU!”
BLARRDY HELL..
SUMMORE DARE TO SAY “THANK YOU!” AT THE END OF THE NOTE.
I personally feel that is too much already! I mean, if I were to go to Coffee Bean with 10 friends and sit on a table with only one friend ordering a drink (while the rest drink water)…. then fine… go ahead and charge me that 30 sen.
But I’m at a KOPITIAM.
No air-con, no nice chairs to sit on, no coffee table to put handphone and look cool and hardly any chicks like this to look at.
AND THEY WANT TO CHARGE ME 30 SEN IF I DON’T ORDER A DRINK?!?!
It’s just gonna be a matter of time before I walk into a kopitiam and see a sign like this.
Shame on you and YOUR LOUSY KIAM SIAP KOPITIAM!!!
PS: Eh Linsey, Leon, Matt, Rayvin…. wanna go there for breakfast tomorrow?
Apparently Shireen nominated my tiny blog for the Best Business Blog category in the Blogger’s Choice Awards.
I’m flattered Shireen.
Thanks very much, though I was a little embarrassed when she first told me about it since… who the hell would vote for my blog.
But I checked in today and I surprisingly found 7 votes!
To the 7 of you who voted, thank you very much… but I’m not much of a blogging award kind of person.
The joys I get from blogging are far from any recognition I get for the things I write on this blog.
I love blogging not because of any fame or money that I could potentially earn, but because it gives me a private space to share my thoughts, views and experiences with the most wonderful and responsive readers that any blogger could ever ask for.
If that doesn’t make me lucky enough, the list keeps growing with hilarious readers joining in on the comments like Hor Ny who consistently makes me laugh with his replies.. and Giovoni who seems to be this very mysterious Fortune Teller that keeps advising me on what to expect next (there are so many more of you out there that I didn’t manage to name but that doesn’t mean you’re any less important).
That to me… is far from what any award can ever bring me.
So instead of voting for someone like me… go support Kid Chan and vote for him. The man deserves to win.
They did give me this thing to place on my blog’s sidebar though.
To tell everyone that this blog got nominated….
But I think I’ll pass.
On another note…
Check out Shireen’s blog.
She apparently broke the Nuffnang Da Vinci Code.
LOL Shireen.
Sorry I wasn’t able to reply your MSN messages that night Shireen. I’ve been so swamped with work it’s not even funny.
Okay you guys came out with such creative answers to the last question, that it makes the story I have look like crap.
If you haven’t read the creative ideas my dear readers came up with to sell this stupid piece of plastic, then please click here to view the previous post and read the comments.
Okay, here’s the answer.
This stupid piece of plastic that I’m holding here is supposed to be…..
*Drum roll please*
A SCREEN FILTER… A STUPID SCREEN FILTER THAT COSTS RM25.
Now screen filters are meant to be placed on your computer monitor to reduce glare and radiation.
Of course, there is no real way for you to naturally tell whether it really reduces radiation or not (unless you carry one of those FBI devices or unless you’re Mighty Mouse).
But you can see if it reduces glare or not… and if it does.. by how much.
So I ran a little test.
Before..
AFTER
See any difference?
THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE (or at least not much of a difference).
Then I decided to cover half the screen with the “filter” to have a more face to face comparison on whether the “filter” brings any value at all.
So I took this picture (Notice half the “filter” is on the left half of the screen).
Do you see a difference?
Not much apart from the fact that there’s a stupid piece of plastic in front of the monitor.
Think about it, if each of these pieces of plastic costs 50 sen, and you can sell it for RM25, you make 50 times the amount you put in.
So if you sell a hundred pieces of this. it will cost you RM50 for all the plastic.
And you the amount of money you can earn when you sell it turns out to be… RM2,500.
What a brilliant idea this is.
Of course the next step would be to find someone who would believe your story and buy it.
In this case… that someone was….
MY DEAR SISTER!!!
I was walking around my home a few days ago when I suddenly heard my sister shout to herself when she was sitting in front of the computer
“F*CKING HELL!!! KENA CHEATED!!!!”.
I went over to find out what happened and she told me the whole story.
She went to look for a screen filter at this shop in Penang. She had a good idea what screen filters look like since her college had those hung from the top of their monitors and it really reduced glare and the strain on her eyes.
So one afternoon she walked into a shop confidently and asked for a screen filter.
The salesman at the shop took out this stupid piece of plastic and showed it to her
“This is our best screen filter… it costs RM25 and it’s super thin, doesn’t make your monitor look ugly.. you won’t even know it’s there”. (He was right about this… you really wouldn’t know if it was there or not)
But my sister was suspicious at first.
She said
“Eh??? I thought screen filter is much bigger than this and hangs from the top of the monitor?”
The salesman said
“Oh no … don’t worry.. that wan is for CRT monitors, this one is for LCD monitors… this one better”.
So my sister believed him, bought the “filter” and went home.
The minute her feet touched the warm wooden floor of home, she ran to her computer and placed the “filter” there only to find that… IT DOESN’T EVEN STICK ON TO THE SCREEN!!!!
That’s when she yelled
“F*CKING HELL!!!!! KENA CHEATED!!!!”.
That’s when I came over only to see her in front of the computer surfing the net with one hand and holding the “filter” to the monitor with the other.
So there you go everyone, the conman wins again.
Now we don’t know what to do with the stupid piece of plastic. Anyone have an idea?
Maybe we’ll start wearing it like this… start a new trend.
It won’t be long before the teenagers at school start saying
“DUDE… I GOTTA GET MYSELF A STUPID PIECE OF PLASTIC… I SAW MY BROTHER WEARING IT AND IT IS SOOO COOOL DUDEEE”.
PS: Some people might actually know something that I don’t… that this stupid piece of plastic actually works! Please enlighten me if that’s true… and tell me how I could test it or at least find a way to see the difference.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space
