Ahh Bruce Willis.

It must feel good to be THE BRUCE.

Think about it this way.

Bruce is not known to be a pretty-boy kinda man.. he’s known for being a MAN MAN. You don’t exactly see girls drooling over him all the time saying “OMG HE’S SOO CUTE”.

But if any man in Hollywood has balls the size of turnips… BRUCE IS DA MAN.

LOOK AT HIM… HE CAN BE ANYTHING.

He can be the nice clean-shaven casanova.
He can be the nasty tough comic-book character.

He can be even be a run-down dirty man in uniform.

Or he can put on his celebrity pose and hang out with anyone who’s anybody in Hollywood (

So when you’re a man like BRUCE… at his age, with his wealth and fame… who do you date?

Well we all know our dear friend Tom chose to marry the much younger Katie Holmes.

But Bruce on the other hand…Bruce is a piece of work!

At 52 years of age… THE BRUCE is going out with 23-year old Playmate Tamara Witmer.

Now Tamara Witmer is only 5 years older than Bruce’s daughter… so why would he do such a thing unless she’s really h…..

HOT!!!

It’s official.. BRUCE IS THE MAN.

I wanna be wealthy and famous too!

After a long day of work one day, I decided to free my mind by visiting a site I haven’t been to in a long time: Friendster.com.

Now the Friendster hype is something I completely missed… missed not because I was too slow but because I was too quick.

The first time I learned about Friendster was in 2002. Back then, few people I knew were on Friendster, I went around meeting whatever friends I had and quickly grew out of it. I grew out of it by the time it became really popular!

Since then.. months go by before I even login to Friendster but just a few days ago I decided it was time for me to pay my quarterly visit.

BEHOLD!!! MY PROFILE PAGE ON FRIENDSTER.COM!!!

Yes it’s true… my picture there hasn’t been updated in 2 years and my profile still says that I’m “studying in London” and “In a Relationship”.

Another shameful thing about my Friendster profile is… I haven’t reached the Holy Grail of 500 friends!

So many of my friends have 3 Friendster accounts just to be able to insert 1,500 friends… and here I am… still stuck at 200 or something.

There was a link on my profile that said “New Testimonials” so I decided to check it out.

There were testimonials that were written 1 year ago by some friends and THEY ARE STILL PENDING APPROVAL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Now guys go to Friendster for different reasons.

Some to genuinely catch up with their old friends, but mostly to look at girls and send *winks* or messages. *winks* NEVER WORK since it tells the girl that you have no balls to even send her a “HI” message… and messages… well.. I’ve met a number of girls that way before.

But I’ve passed that stage…

So now when I login to Friendster… I go to see what my ex-girlfriends are up to.

Let me tell all of you one thing.

Your ex-girlfriends… especially on Friendster… ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY’RE HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU…
It doesn’t matter if they really are or not.

Even if your ex is in Siberia eating snow… SHE WILL STILL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY’RE HAPPIER AND NEVER BEEN BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU.

And ladies.. don’t you think that we guys don’t know your tricks!!!

We know it’s ALL AN ACT!!!

But touche ladies… it still works 🙁

So I started looking at what my ex-girlfriends were up to.

There was the very first one I had (on the right), who still looked great.

There was the one who was always up for a party.

There was the one I loved the most.

And the one I never ever deserved to begin with.

And guess what…

THEY ALL LOOK HAPPIER WITHOUT ME…

SONOFABITCH!!!!

Some of you might notice that one of our Nuffnang advertisers this week is Amob.com, a mobile content provider that allows people like us to download all sorts of fun things to our mobile phones.
Anything from ring tones to screensavers to wallpapers and most importantly… GAMES!!!

I’m a sucker for games. Have always been.. will always be.

I remember the days where I used to spend hours lying down on my bed playing Snake on my Nokia. All the time I wasted… but it was worth it.

But now… now the kind of games that we get on the mobile phone are…. unbelievable!

Anything from little tamagochi pets that you can even keep on your phone to F-16 Fighter Plane games to even… COUNTERSTRIKE.
I shit you not!

COUNTERSTRIKE ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE!

If we only had this while I was still at uni.

I know I would be kept busy at lectures for sure. My parents used to tell me that it’s so easy to score in school now with the syllabus being much much easier. But I dispute that!

It’s SOO MUCH HARDER for a student to score in school now… I mean.. heck.. LOOK AT THE DISTRACTIONS WE HAVE…. there are just SO MANY other things to do APART FROM STUDY.

Check out all the ways you can PIMP your mobile phone by clicking on the ad right after this entry. Please support our advertiser!!! PIMP YOUR MOBILE!!!!

OKAY!!!

In my previous Friend Test, everyone in the Top 10 Rankings got a score of 100!

Not to mention I even get people complaining “CHIUUUUuuuu SOO EASY!!!”.

Among the comments that you guys left me!

nicholas g says : Eh give la hard hard questions boss. This one little kid oso can do one. Make the answers oso hard and close to each other. We want more challenge!

suicidal N says : No. Challenge. cheh :p

kristin y says : eh! i got 90% le. haha.

So now that everyone is lansi already… COME WE TRY ONE MORE TIME!!!

I have made a new test for everyone to do. This one MUCH HARDER than the previous one but not unreasonably hard lar… like I don’t go and ask questions like how long is my kkc.

I am pretty sure NOBODY can really get a score of 100 now… but let me put my money where my mouth is…

FOR THE PERSON WHO GETS 100 MARKS and is ON TOP of the chart by the end of this little contest… I WILL BUY HIM/HER a dinner at SAN FRANCISCO STEAKHOUSE!
I mean it.. I KID YOU NOT.

I will give everyone ONE week to do the test… up to next Sunday at 12am 19th May 2007 and by then I will see who the winner is.

Don’t try to cheat ar!!!

UPDATE: WOI!!! Don’t try to cheat by doing the test over and over again ar!!! If I see your name come out many many times… I WILL KNOW YOU ARE CHEATING!!!

Wahh… so many of you did my “Friend Test” on my sidebar… and so many people scored 100.

Some more got some of you say
“Boss… your test is too damn easy lar!”

AI CHEH… COCKY NOW HOR!!!

Don’t make me come up with ANOTHER test that you all will FAIL.. FAIL I TELL YOU!!! FAIL!!!

I was in Singapore just a week ago for the launch of www.nuffnang.com.sg

It was over the long weekend of public holidays so since our office in Malaysia would be closed at the time, I thought that I’d might as well go to Singapore and join the team there for some work and also to see my cute little baby niece who is still trying very hard to chew away the bars of her court.
She’s adorable!

Anyway, welcome to Nuffnang Singapore’s OFFICE!!!Hhahaha I wish (or THEY wish)!

Ok ok lar… here’s how our real office looks like.

Lots and lots and lots of paper around a wooden table with plastic chairs for everyone to sit around. Oh, and one leather arm chair on that table for the Boss Ming.

I managed to take these two pictures with my camera phone during lunch hour. Here’s another one.

Look at how hardworking one of our Singaporean team mates are… working over lunch!

Also notice the number of Macs the Singapore office has!

When Nuffnang Malaysia grows, I’m going to fill up our Penang office with MACS!!!

Ok lar.. enough of the sneak peek.

If we ever get a nicer office, I’ll show you all next time okay?

Something I can never understand.

Every girlfriend I have ever had in the past… buys Cleo… and every one of them… LOVES CLEO’S 50 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS edition.I never quite understood why but in the past I have learned to accept it.

Why?

Because if you look at an eligible bachelor and say “What a LOSER… how the hell can you call him eligible?”

Then you’re jealous.

And if you say “Wow… that guy is hot!”

Then you’re gay.

So the best thing is… NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. In fact, when forced to read the magazine, flip past the 50 Most Eligible Bachelors and go to the more interesting content at the back.

Such as the sex column where you get to see questions like

“My wife screams the name of another man every time we’re in bed… Oh CLEO.. what do I do?”

I mean…. it’s human nature that we love hearing about stories like this.

Just like when we were in school and we would make sure we’d catch every Thursday’s edition of Big Bro in The Star.
“Dear Big Bro, my boyfriend says he loves me long time and he wants me to make sexy time with him but I don’t think I’m ready yet… what should I do? -Confused Girl”.

Notice how we always read the questions but only SKIM through the answers (or sometimes ignore them completely)?

Why?

Because their answers are all sooo…. politically correct.

Big Bro would reply

“Dear Confused Girl, Your virginity is like a precious diamond that once tainted can never be perfect again. If your boyfriend truly loves you like he says he does, he will be willing to wait for until you are ready. If he is not prepared to wait then he does not love you and truly does not deserve you.”

SEE??? TYPICAL. I bet we would all be reading the answers more often if Big Bro was used to replying like this

“Dear Confused Girl… the only thing you should be confused about right now is which brand condom to use… so pick Durex and go HUMP LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW!!!”.

Anyway back to my friend’s Cleo magazine that I was reading (*Whew I keep getting distracted sometimes). After I read past the sex column, I came across the QA Medical section where I saw this question. “I’m 23 and recently I’ve been experiencing a burning sensation whenever I urinate. Five minutes later, I’d feel the urge to go again but only pass little urine. It’s disturbing my sleep. Am I having some kind of infection?”

Brilliant question from a rather intelligent lady. Why brilliant?

Well because… when you’re “experiencing a BURNING SENSATION” when you PEE… what any smart person would do is to write a letter to Cleo’s Medical QA Column and wait for the next issue to come out for an answer.

That’s perfect right? I mean it makes perfect sense!

Right?

So now we all know what to do if we ever feel that burning sensation when we pee. Right? Right?

Right????

WRONG!!!

WHEN YOU FEEL A BURNING SENSATION, YOU GO SEE A DAMN DOCTOR!!! YOU DO NOT WRITE TO BIG BRO OR DEAR THELMA AND ASK WHAT TO DO THEN UNLESS YOU ENJOY THE BURNING SENSATION AND IT MAKES YOU HIGH!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!?

What does Boss Stewie do when he’s stressed?

As much as he wishes he could, he doesn’t go around buying tubs of Haagen Dazs all the time… so when he’s not doing that…

He plays HAPPY TUNES on the piano!

Don’t laugh at me! I’m not a very musically inclined person and the person you see playing the piano with me is my piano teacher!

*Just in case you guys missed it… this piece is actually a duet, that’s why you see the both of us playing the piano.

BWAHAHAH.. mark my words.. this tune is going to be playing in your head over and over again the rest of the day and even when you wake up in bed tomorrow morning!!!

I’m not sure but I know where the camera I thought I left in Singapore is…

HAHAHAHAHA I FOUND IT!!!

IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER… NOT IN SINGAPORE.. HAHAHA

The idiot I am!

I just found out that I left my camera in Singapore when I was there for work a few days ago!

IN SINGAPORE!!!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOO IT’S OVER!!!

If you’re asking why it’s over then perhaps you don’t understand how Boss Stewie blogs.

Boss Stewie can’t write well to save his life.

He cheats! He cheats by taking lots and lots of pictures and throwing them all around to confuse his readers so that before you know it, you’ll be thinking..

“Oooh… Boss Stewie is quite a good blogger after all”.

BUT NOW I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE PICTURES TO CHEAT WITH NOW!!!

JUST LIKE A COW WITHOUT NIPPLES!!!!

AUUUUUUUGGHHHH

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!?!? JUST LIKE THIS ALL TEXT POST THAT YOU DON’T WANNA BE READING!!!

AUUUGHHH!!!!!