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Things Shorty & Fatty Say #105, #106: Stickers

Posted on February 20, 2013 admin

#105

While I’m at work I get an SMS that my supplementary credit card for Shorty has just been charged $1.99 by iTunes. Messages Shorty.

When I get home later.

Me: Ok explain yourself. What did you buy!

Shorty: Hhehehe How you know I bought?

Me: Cuz you used my supplementary credit card what!

Shorty: Eh I thought I used my own.

Me: No you used mine. So what did you buy?

Shorty: Hehehe…*hugs me and manjas*

Me: What? Line Stickers right? Stickers for sure.

Shorty: No… I bought…. Candy Crush moves.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!

Shorty: Cuz cuz I needed just one more move to get past the level.

Me: YOU SPENT RM6 ON A MOVE SO YOU CAN ADVANCE IN CANDY CRUSH?!?!? THIS IS A BIGGER WASTE OF MONEY THAN STICKERS!!!

#106

At 1-Utama for the Nuffnang Screening of Flight. We parked our car and found ourselves walking through a departmental store.

Me: What the hell? I can’t find our way out of this damn departmental store. How do you get out to the mall?

Shorty: That’s the thing about departmental stores. They trap you in here so you have to buy something.

*5 minutes later*

Me: Whew… ok finally we’re out. Where are we now?

Shorty: We’re in the new wing right?

Me: Really? Oh then we need to walk this way…. to get back to the old wing…

Shorty: Ok…

Me: How come I don’t remember this part of the new wing being like that?

Shorty: Oh I mean this used to be the old wing then they renovated it.

Me: You mean we’re in the new new wing? Not the old new wing?

Shorty: I guess you could say that.

Me: Dammit… other way then!

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #103, #104: Who gets to post on Instagram first?

Posted on February 17, 2013 admin

#103

Woke up early for golf this morning. By the time I got back home in the afternoon, Shorty was out with her friends. I messaged her.

3 hours later…

#104

While waiting for food at dinner

Shorty: Come take picture!

*snaps*

Shorty: Haha!

Me: Send to me send to me! I post on Instagram first!

Shorty: *opens Instagram app*

Me: HOI!!!

Shorty: *clicks to post Instagram photo* HEHEHEHE

Me: NO!!! WHY YOU DON’T LET ME POST FIRST!!! No difference wan what you have so many more followers than me!!!

Shorty: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Me: *tries to grab phone*

Shorty: NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! *fights*

Me: Okay fine we see who got more witty caption for the photo then get to post first ok?

Shorty: No… my caption is just going to be “Me and Fatty”.

Me: WHAT?!?! NUUUuuuuuuu!!!!!!

We ended up posting the same picture with our own different captions. You can see them on our Instagram accounts @timothytiah and @fourfeetnine.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #101, #102: My Valentine’s Day Gift to Shorty

Posted on February 15, 2013 admin

Edited: Ok some of you guys have asked for an English translation of the Malay verses below so I’ve edited them in

————–

Hi Guys,

Ok ok because of the overwhelming comments I got in the previous post about Things Shorty & Fatty Say, I’m going to extend it for another 100 ok? #100-#200. I initially thought that it wasn’t that popular because I didn’t exactly get that many comments or NuffnangX likes on the Things Shorty & Fatty Say posts. So you see? If you don’t comment I don’t think you like them. Anyway I’ve decided to continue for another hundred. So starting today I started paying attention to the things Shorty and I say to each other.

#101

I was away in Singapore for Valentine’s Day for work. Then I came back on an early morning flight today.

Me: Shorty! I bought something for you for Valentine’s Day.

Shorty: What what? *stands in front of me with hands together like a child waiting for a present*.

Me: TADAAA!!! Hello Kitty Toothpaste!

Shorty: OOOoooooo

Me: And Hello Kitty toothpaste won’t be complete without….. TADAAAAA… HELLO KITTY TOOTHBRUSH!

Shorty: WOOOOoooo… OK I GO BRUSH MY TEETH NOW…. ah dammit I brushed already.

Me: Brush tonight la… what’s the hurry? Why get present must straight away use?

Shorty: HEHEHE

Me: OK! Imma go sleep now… damn tired.

*I go to shower and crawl to bed to sleep after*

—- 1 hour later——

Me: *gradually wakes up and rolls around the bed only to suddenly see Shorty bent over me staring at me* EEEYAAAAHHH!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Shorty: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Me: Leave me alone!

Shorty: Ooooo very apt huh the shirt you wearing now. Come I take picture.

Me: DON’T YOU DARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Shorty: *snaps*

Later on that day when I saw that picture.

Me: WHY YOU TAKE THIS PICTURE OF ME!!! FROM BELOW MY CHIN SOME MORE SO UGLY LOOK LIKE I AM DAMN FAT LIKE THAT!!!

Shorty: HAHAHAH!!!

#102

Shorty and I went to the club in the afternoon. I went to play some golf and Shorty went for a swim. We met up for an early dinner later on at a Japanese restaurant.

Me: So how was your swim Shorty.

Shorty: Hmmm… was ok?

Me: Was the pool nice?

Shorty: Ya… I think I attracted quite a bit of attention.

Me: Why?

Shorty: I was kicking around with my papan apung in the kids pool. Then the life guard asked me why is it I don’t swim in the adults’ section and I said I scared.

Me: Scared what you have a papan apung!

After dinner while walking out of the restaurant.

Me: Come I help you carry your Papan apung la since you carrying so many things.

Shorty: HEHEHE…. Saya sebuah papan apung. Bertuahnya saya makan bersama pemilik saya makanan Jepun malam ini. (I am a float [common essay title for learning Malay in primary school]. I’m so lucky to have a Japanese dinner with my owner tonight)

Me: HAHA!… Nasi Goreng Garlic yang dimakan bestnyaaa…. (The garlic fried rice that was served tonight was awesome)

Shorty: Mmmmm ya saya dapat bau Nasi Goreng Garlic itu… (I got to smell the garlic fried rice)

Me: Sebelum makan malam, saya berenang dengan pemilik saya di …… (Before my dinner I swam with my owner at the…)

Shorty: Kolam renang… (swimming pool)

Me: Di kolam renang kanak kanak. Malunya berenang bersama kanak kanak. Bila lifeguard tanya pemilik saya mengapa tak berenang di bahagian orang dewasa pemilik saya kata …. takut. (At the children’s swimming pool it was so embarrassing to swim with the kids. When the lifeguard asked my owner why is it she doesn’t swim in the grown-ups pool she said…. she’s afraid).

Shorty: HAHA you make me sound so stupid!

Shorty’s Birthday This Year was on the first day of CNY

Posted on February 13, 2013 admin

So… in case you didn’t hear… Shorty’s birthday this year fell on the first day of Chinese New Year. That pretty much ruled out any form of a birthday party because well.. nobody would come. So to make up for it I organized a small surprise birthday dinner among Shorty and her close friends a few days before.

On the first day of New Year though I still wanted to do as much as I could to make sure she remembered that it was her birthday… and not just CNY. So she woke up with breakfast in bed (her favourite Roti Canai) though she eventually got out of bed to eat it because she found it difficult to eat while in bed.

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Then we went out… got another birthday cake for her (the first one was at our surprise party a few days ago) and came home to sing a song for her so she can cut a cake. We also went out much of the day to celebrate Shorty’s birthday as much as we can.

In spite of all our efforts though, all in all Shorty’s birthday still got drowned out by Chinese New Year. The spirit of CNY was just too strong and there was only so much we can do on CNY because everything was closed.

To make matters worse, this Valentine’s day this year is the first Valentine’s Day Shorty and I will spend apart ever since we got together. Why? Because while she headed back to KL, I have to spend Valentine’s Day in Singapore for some meetings and work.

The good thing though is that these little things like Valentine’s Day never bugged us. I mean we never needed to wait for a particular day to shower each other with love…. we think we do it all the time. Almost as much as we annoy or insult each other … which reminds me… I know I ended Things Shorty & Fatty Say at #100 but I’m still considering bringing it back ok? Just need a breather for a bit before I try to get into the habit of remembering the things we say that make each other laugh every day.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you guys really want to see Things Shorty & Fatty Say continue for another 100? Will there even be a hundred of you guys?

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Posted on February 9, 2013 admin

Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone!

Shorty and me have been busy with CNY stuff. We’re back in my hometown Penang spending time with my side of the family. It’s our first CNY as a married couple so the first day of CNY we spend with my family, and the second day with her side of the family. Just like how tradition has it.

This year is also the first year we have to give out Ang Pows. So Shorty and I found ourselves wrapping Ang Pows today for the first time.

Giving out Ang Pows is a lot harder than we thought. First you have to estimate how much money you need for all the Ang Pows you’re going to give out. Then you have to go to the bank and try to get it all in the different denominations. And what I learned this year was that new notes are hard to come by when you wait till the last minute. So we had to exchange our old notes with some new notes my mum had.

Check out all the different Ang Pow packets we’re using this year. Including the Hello Kitty ones Shorty bought.

We gave out our first Ang Pow of our lives to my nephew today. It was … well… nice actually. Giving is always as nice or even nicer as receiving. Tomorrow’s a busy day. It’s the first day of CNY and also Shorty’s birthday so we’re going to have to go to bed now.

Good night everyone… Gong Xi Fa Cai from a Fatty and a Shorty.

PS: I’m currently addicted to this really old but famous Japanese song (they made a Chinese version too)

Somehow I’m like that. Whenever I travel and I come home I always end up spending the next few days or weeks listening to music from that country.

China Meme Proposal (UPDATED)

Posted on February 6, 2013 admin

Remember Shorty and I’s Meme Proposal?

Well a few of our readers brought to our attention a very similar meme proposal video from China in a proposal done last month.

I have some confused feelings about it. I mean on one hand… I wish the new couple happiness and everlasting marriage but on the other hand… it’s like… almost the same thing. Down to the words that he used for the individual cards or the music of the video.

Would you like it if your boyfriend proposed to you just like that?

UPDATE: So my friend Hui Wen tweeted that she left a comment on the video that this whole proposal is copied from Malaysia, and they deleted her comment.

Quick Update from Hokkaido

Posted on February 3, 2013 admin

HELLO from Hokkaido!

I’m here for a conference with a group of entrepreneurs at a ski resort here. I never thought I would have a reason to go to Hokkaido… since I don’t really ski or anything. So this conference is a great excuse. Here are some pictures I took in the past few days.

One thing you should know about Shorty is that she hates the cold and she hates snow. Given the choice, she would rather be in a dessert than in a ski resort. So when she does come out into winter she prepares bundles up herself like this,

I took skiing lessons while here. I learned to ski some 10 years ago but I think I totally forgot everything so I just did a refresher lesson. I was supposed to go to the slope right after my lesson but my friends didn’t want to go. Then I wanted to go today but there was some sort of a snow storm so booo… didn’t get to go either. Anyway here’s a picture of my ski instructor.

Shorty said I better not pick up skiing as a hobby because she doesn’t want to ever come back to a ski resort again. She hates snow and the cold.

Here’s Shorty a random picture of Shorty and me.

Today we went out for some activities by the organizers even though it looked like a blizzard out there.

This is Shorty and me caught in a snow storm. After 10 minutes she was like “FUCK THIS I’M GOING INSIDE”. So I sent her inside and came back out.

Took this picture when I was out alone in the snow.

Didn’t realize that my beanie and scarf was all covered in snow from the wind.

At the event there was this really flamboyant photographer that goes around taking picture and after he’s done he gives an “OKAAAAYYY”. Shorty thought he was funny so she took a picture with him.

Yes for some reason Shorty found herself some animal suit. Some Japanese guy was wearing it at this party we went to. When she said it was cute he quickly took it off and gave it to her… eager to be rid of it. Apparently he was told to wear it for the party so when the opportunity came to gave it to Shorty he grabbed it. He said that it looks better on a girl.

And yes we’ve talked to many Japanese here. They no longer have any radiation fears. The only thing they avoid is any seafood that comes from the Fukushima area. Really sad man. They told us the Fukushima farmers and fishermen and all are having a hard time now because nobody wants to buy their produce or fish. So they can’t sell any of it and they just end up eating it themselves.

So that’s Hokkaido for us so far. Gotta go to bed now. See ya guys.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #100: Two Single Beds

Posted on February 2, 2013 admin

#100

Shorty and I are in Hokkaido for a conference. It’s city Sapporo is covered in snow.

When Shorty and I checked into our hotel we saw this.

Me: Umm… two single beds. Looks like we gonna have to squeeze together on one of them.

Shorty: What? You take one bed I take the other la!

Me: Cannot! Husband and wife must always sleep together!

Shorty: *looks at bed again*…. CANNOT SQUEEZE LA… YOU SO FAT!

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #96, #97, #98, #99: Hello Kitty Ang Pow Packets

Posted on January 31, 2013 admin

#96

Drawing money at an ATM

Shorty: *pokes finger at me* Money or life?

Me: Money or wife?

Shorty: HAHA good one good one!

#97

Me: Shorty do you know my “cousin” Josephine is coming to KL tomorrow?

Shorty: Who?

Me: The girl who’s not really my cousin but shares the same surname as me so I call her cousin. From Brunei one.

Shorty: OHHH!!! She’s coming to KL?

Me: Yeah

Shorty: WOW! KL must be a huge change for her.

Me: Ohhh….. like that huh… making fun of people who come from smaller town laaa….

Shorty: Nonono I mean… Brunei is good la.. just must be different la cuz KL is such a big city in comparison. Just like you come from Penang to KL.

Me: Ohh… trying to make your case better but actually making it worse huh.

#98

While paying for parking

Parking Machine: Please insert amount in coins and bank notes.

Shorty: *grabs one dollar notes from me* I WANT TO DO I WANT TO DO.

Me: What? Acting like you never put money into an autopay machine before.

Shorty: HEHEHE

Me: I thought you’re an expert at putting money into an autopay machine. Just like how you last time put in an RM100 note and got back RM98 in coins as change.

Shorty: HAHAHA HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

Me: I know la… you told me what. And it took me 1 month to slowly use up those coins until I was done. Terrible la this girl.

Shorty: HAHAHA… actually I did it once more after that.

Me: WHAT?!?

#99

Shorty is telling me a story about something that happened to her…

Shorty: So right that day I bought this Hello Kitty ang pow packet right and I put it on Instagram… and then…

Me: WAIT WAIT HANG ON *interrupts* …. YOU BOUGHT ANG POW PACKETS?!?

Shorty: Hehehehe yeah….

Me: YOU BOUGHT ANG POW PACKETS??!?!

Shorty: Yah just to give to our nieces and nephews.

Me: WHO BUYS ANG POW PACKETS?!?!?!?!

Shorty: But they’re soo cuteee… and they’re Hello Kitty.

Me: AGAIN… WHO BUYS ANG POW PACKETS WHEN WE GET THEM FREE?!?!?!

Shorty: Heheheheh but they’re cute!!!

Me: *smacks forehead*

Foruchizu’s Open for A Private Party

Posted on January 30, 2013 admin

Today is a big day for Shorty. Shorty spent most of her Sunday preparing for the launch of Foruchizu. She even skipped dinner with me so I had to tarpau some beef noodles for her just before I went out with some friends. When I came back I saw Shorty looking all worried. I asked her what’s wrong? She said the Foruchizu online store is finally ready to accept its first few customers but she’s really nervous about it.

One of Shorty and Ringo’s concern was being able to secure all the demand once it launches.

They want to be able to test out the site, the logistics and make sure service standards are high rather than have so many orders they can’t fulfill them all so quickly. So what they decided to do was to take in a few customers at a time. That means people can register and they would gradually approve your individual accounts before you can buy anything on Foruchizu. It’s not meant to make the site “exclusive” and all that… I mean the truth is which retailer wants to restrict the number of customers they get. They just want to make sure they get things right before they open it to public.

So if you want to be among the first few customers of Foruchizu, you can start by registering with them now at www.foruchizu.com

Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space

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