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Things Shorty & Fatty Say #185, #186, #187: Do the Hustle

Posted on May 22, 2013 admin

#185

At a market called Borough Market in London.

Shorty: Shit I need to pee need to pee need to pee.

Me: Okok lets go find a toilet.

5 minutes later

Shorty: Where’s the toilet???

Me: I don’t know. Maybe there.

Shorty: ARRGGGHH!!!

Me: OK I SEE IT! It’s over there!

Shorty: YES!

Me: *sings* WEEEE are the CHAMPIONS….. ”

Shorty: Ohhhh.. witty huh this Fat one.

Me: What? Huh? Ohh… yah yah….

Shorty: You didn’t actually mean to say “Wee” as in go to toilet “Wee” when you sang the song did you?

Me: No I did… yes I did.

Shorty: No you didn’t…. not very witty after all huh this Fatty.

#186

Walking on the streets of London.

Shorty: *humming some song*

Me: *hums do the Hustle*

Shorty: What song is that?

Me: Err…

Shorty: Party Rock..?

Me: No… it’s called Do the Hustle. *hums song loudly and dances*

#187

We’re looking at baby clothes when Shorty sees this really cute skirt.

Shorty: Haih Fighter… why can’t you be asexual.

Me: Hey! Don’t say that about Fighter. I would rather he have a sex than no sex.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #183, #184: Mafia Shorty

Posted on May 20, 2013 admin

#183

Walking around London again in the cold. Shorty is all bundled up.

Me: Oh shit I think we’re walking in the wrong direction.

Shorty: WHAT? SHIT LARRRRR

Me: Yeah its back there *turns back*

Shorty: FUCK LAHH!!!

Me: Look at this Shorty. So vulgar acting like mafia. Other small girls try to look cute and sweet or elegant even but this one act like gangster huh!

Shorty: Hehehehe.

#184

Having breakfast one day

Me: Shorty I think we need to talk.

Shorty: What what?

Me: It’s about something really disgusting that you do.

Shorty: What what?

Me: Every night when you get out of bed to go to the toilet, I hear you pee, the wipe yourself up and then flush. But I don’t hear you wash your hands. Then you come back to bed and then with that same hand you used to wipe yourself you hold my hand.

Shorty: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Me: And then when I wake up in the morning I use that same hand and rub my eyes or touch my nose. It’s no wonder I get a stye so often. Wahlau wash your hands lah!

Shorty: Too sleepy to care about washing hands.

Me: It takes you 5 seconds!

Shorty: 5 seconds in the middle of the night is a long time.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #181, #182: Shorty does not share tea

Posted on May 18, 2013 admin

#181

We’re walking down Champs Elysee in Paris when Shorty spots a McDs and insists on buying some nuggets. Once we walk in:

Shorty: AHHH such a long queue!!!!!

Me: Oh well.

Shorty: HEY What’s that!

Me: Self-order machine.

Shorty: OOH OOH I WANNA PRESS. *orders nuggets and pays with credit card*.

There is no queue at the pick-up point for self-order. So five minutes later we walk out with a bag of nuggets in Shorty’s hand.

Shorty: Dunno why not more people use the self-order machine…. SUCKERS!!! HAHAHA.

#182

Having tea with Shorty at a cafe in Paris. I ordered macaroons, a pastry and shared a pot of green tea with Shorty.

Me: *finishes cup of tea and pours more from the pot*

Shorty: *watches intently*

3 minutes later

Me: *finishes 2nd cup of tea and pours more from pot*

Shorty: HEY!

Me: What?

Shorty: Why you drink so much!!!

Me: Thirsty.

3 minutes later.

Me: *finishes 3rd cup of tea and pours more again*

Shorty: HEY!!! DON’T DRINK ALL THE TEA!!!

Me: Oh sorry I think I just had the last cup of tea.

Shorty: WHAT!!!

Shorty then picks up my cup of tea, and empties it into her cup.

Me: What the hell?

Shorty: *scoops up a teaspoon of tea from her cup and throws it back into my empty cup*

Me: *drinks the teaspoon of tea I have left*

Shorty: HAHAHA

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #179 & #180: The Name Game

Posted on May 15, 2013 admin

#179

Shorty and me just got to Paris today for our baby moon.

Shorty: Wow this is the first time we’re in a country where we don’t know the language.

Me: No who said.

Shorty: Yes what! Most of the countries we been to have English as the main language. And Japan I speak Japanese.

Me: China and Hong Kong?

Shorty: Yah but it’s not very far off. I mean you can still speak…..

Me: Thailand.

Shorty: ….

Me: Yes? Something to say? You know how to speak Thai? Sawadikarb!

Shorty: Fine fine.

#180

During lunch at a French cafe by Champs Elysees

Shorty: What do we know about France?

Me: Les Miserables. The Guillotine.

Shorty: Ya but what else. Like which famous person do we know from France?

Me: Dunno.

Shorty: There I know… Audrey Tatou. The actress from Chocolat.

Me: Oh ok.

Shorty: Come lets play a game. We see who can name more famous people from a country or state ok? So you can choose a country first but you have to let me one person first. And once I answer, if you cannot answer anymore then you lose. Then we take turns to choose a country. Ok?

Me: Ok ok I start. USA.

Shorty: Britney Spears.

Me: Obama.

Shorty: Ok China.

Me: Zhang Zi Yi

Shorty: Mao Tse Tung.

Me: Germany.

Shorty: Mercedes Benz.

Me: WHAT? FAMOUS PERSON! Not a car!

Shorty: Mercedes Benz is a person! He named it after his daughter.

Me: Yerrr like that I might as well say Bavarian Motor Works (BMW).

Shorty: Haha but that’s not a person’s name!

Me: Neither is Mercedes Benz.

Shorty: It’s true la we studied it in school.

Me: Now that’s bullshit. Where got we study such thing in school.

Shorty: GOT!

Me: Fine Fine. Give you!

Shorty: Ok Scotland!

Me: Shit…. who is from Scotland? OK JOHNNIE WALKER!

Shorty: CANNOT LAH!

Me: Fine William Wallace.

Shorty: WHO THE HECKK IS THAT??

Me: Braveheart.

Shorty: HE DOESN’T EXIST IN REAL LIFE!

Me: He was a hero!

Shorty: Fine… give you. We can then use fictional characters also.

Me: HAHA YES!

Shorty: Ok for Scotland I have Sean Connery.

Me: He’s from Scotland? WAAATTT.

Shorty: Haha yeah. Your turn.

Me: I don’t have any more.

Shorty: HAHA I have one more. Then I win already.

Me: Fine give it to me.

Shorty: Sir Alex Ferguson.

Me: AHHHH!!!!!!!

Shorty: HAHA I remember that he’s Scottish only because we heard him speak when we watched the Man Utd vs Swansea game last week.

Me: Ok fine. I’m gonna give it to you. My turn… ALASKA!

Shorty: Hmm… Sarah Palin?

Me: ARRRRRGGGHHHHH FUUUUUKKKK THAT WAS THE ONE I GOT.

Shorty: HAHAHA TOO BAD. So now your turn. Who do you know from Alaska?

Me: Shit lah! Nobody else is from Alaska ah!! There’s nothing there except Lobsters.

Shorty: Lobsters are from Maine.

Me: Alaska also got what!

Shorty: Ok Germany.

Me: Hitler!

Shorty: AHHHHHH…..!!!

Me: Ok so who else?

Shorty: I know. The Holy Roman Emperor.

Me: WHAT?!?

Shorty: Yah… during the old days before Germany was Germany.

Me: WHAT RUBBISH.

Shorty: REALLY WAN!

Me: OK fine give you.

Shorty: Ok Denmark.

Me: Peter Gade.

Shorty: HAHA WHO IS THAT?? REAL WAN OR NOT!

Me: OF COS LAH! He’s the famous badminton player from Denmark.

Shorty: What kind of name is that? Sounds like Alligator!

Me: The real Peter Gade is going to be so pissed off at you if he knows you said that.

Shorty: Don’t know whether if really a real person or not. *suspicious*

Update!

Posted on May 13, 2013 admin

There is a reason to our sparse updates. Which is actually a good thing if you think about it. Cuz that means shorty and I have been busy going about doing baby moon stuff enjoying our trip.

It’s been really busy though. Yesterday shorty and I made a day trip to Manchester to watch the game at Old Trafford and by the time we got back it was so late. We just went straight to bed.

So here I am this Monday morning still laying in bed typing out this blog entry on my phone. Just to tell you guys we’re still around but have limited access to blogging. Tomorrow though we are heading to Paris and hopefully our hotel there would have wifi. Will find some time to put out a proper entry then. Until then, here’s a picture of shorty and me at the Manchester United game yesterday.

The Making of Harry Potter

Posted on May 10, 2013 admin

Shorty is a huge Harry Potter fan. Like really huge. Starting from the books all the way to the movie. So when she heard that we could visit the studio in which they filmed the movie here in London, she decided we had to go.

So I brought her to Warner Bros Studio in London.

We spent hours there. On all the other days in London, Shorty often complained about walking around because she said she gets tired quickly now with Fighter, but at the Harry Potter studio, she said no such thing. She was happily darting around to look at all the exhibits.

Let me share a few noteworthy pictures I took.

Here are pictures I took on the set of the Great Hall.

This is where they filmed the scene when all the students of Hogwarts would be eating.

We could walk into the actual sets in which they used to film different scenes. This one for example was Dumbledore’s office.

And we had a chance to drink Butter Beer, which Shorty loved

There was a lot more about the Harry Potter studios than I can share here like Harry Potter’s house

or this bridge.

But I’m still blogging on my phone and it is too difficult to blog a full length entry. So I’ll let you read more about it on Shorty’s blog when she does publish it.

Until then have a good weekend guys.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #177 & 178: Expensive Taxi Ride

Posted on May 8, 2013 admin

Ok this is a joke. A joke because today marks the first time in my life I’ve had to blog with my phone. Why ? See shorty and I are in London now for our honeymoon. We are staying in this flat that doesn’t have wifi.

Now we thought that wouldn’t be a problem at all because well we’ll just get a local SIM card and use personal hotspot to tether our laptops so we can blog. WRONG! In the UK if you’re using a prepaid SIM card they block you from tethering. Sien.

So that brings me to me blogging on my phone. For this reason I’m not going to bother with formatting of the text so much. I’m just going to type it all out in one way and publish it. So excuse me for that but anyway here’s today’s Things Shorty and Fatty Say.

#177

On the plane flying over here.

Me: *watching a movie when suddenly my channel changes*

Shorty: Something is wrong with my controller. Doesn’t seem to work.

Me: Maybe that’s because you are using MY controller.

Shorty: *looks at controller* oh oops sorry sorry.

#178

In the taxi on the way from the airport to our flat.

Me: Shit shorty, we haven’t even properly got out of the airport area and the meter is at RM100 already!

Shorty: Wah !

Me: Maybe we should’ve taken the train. This is going to be one expensive ride.

Shorty: Oh well then we better enjoy it. *sits back with wind in her face and leans back*

Malaysia’s 13th General Election

Posted on May 5, 2013 admin

It is hard for this blog to ignore TODAY. It is the day millions of Malaysians go out to vote for the government that will lead them in the next 5 years. Today is probably the most hotly contested election Malaysia has ever had.

Personally, today was my second time voting and Shorty’s first. I went back to Penang to vote while Shorty stayed in Subang. We both ended up having to line up for close to 2 hours, but we knew it was worth the wait. I would’ve waited all day if I had to. It’s not just about exercising your right as a citizen, it’s about doing what you can to determine the future of a country we love so much.

I had a funny conversation with my mother today though.

Throughout the day, there were all sorts of pictures circulating social media on the elections. The one picture that really moved me though was this one.

A bride that was voting in her wedding gown on her wedding day. I admire how she chose to vote on what was probably the most important day of her life, this is a reminder to me that I can never come up with any reason good enough to NOT vote in future.

At the point of writing this blog entry, we don’t know the results of our election yet. So I gotta go start stalking Malaysiakini now for the results. Whatever the results turn out to be or whoever the victor, my only wish is that Malaysia becomes a better place. I love Malaysia… and I know all the people who came out to vote today love Malaysia too.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #174, #175, #176: One Small Step for Fighter.. One Giant Leap for…

Posted on May 3, 2013 admin

#174

In our room one night

Me: What’s that smell? What are you rubbing your stomach with?

Shorty: Stretch mark oil… to reduce my stretch mark as my stomach grows.

Me: Ooooh… I can haz some. *takes oil and rubs on own stomach*

Shorty: HAHA stupid! Solidarity huh?

Me: No… solely for the sake of my stomach.

#175

Visiting our Doctor

Doctor: I know the sex of the baby. Do you want to know?

Shorty/Me: YES YES YES!!!

Doctor: Ok you see this part? These are the legs, and in between them is…

Shorty/Me: OOoooooo

Doctor: Yep it’s a boy.

After Doctor’s visit.

Me: Gotta say… Fighter is pretty well-hung.

Shorty: Hey! Don’t talk about Fighter like that.

Me: He is Shorty. Did you see? It was so obvious even at 4 months old. Fighter was packing it.

#176

Me: Oh I forgot to tell you one thing I wanted to say to you earlier once we found out Fighter’s sex.

Shorty: What?

Me: I was thinking to myself… One small step for Fighter… One Giant Leap for MAXIMUS *does slow-motion moon walk*

“My Greatest Achievement”

Posted on May 1, 2013 admin

I was doing an interview a few days ago. The interviewer asked me what my greatest achievement was. Since it was an interview about me as an entrepreneur I was guess she expected me to say something about Nuffnang or ChurpChurp. Sure I am grateful for whatever I have with Nuffnang and ChurpChurp but I think luck and blessings from God had a lot more to do with it than I did. So my achievement was something else.

I started thinking about what gave me the most joy in life today. It wasn’t the cars I drive, the watches I wear, the holidays I take…. it was Shorty. Life can be that simple… that all it takes to make you happy is just the right person to be happy with. That too I believe took a lot of luck. Think about it, for me and Shorty to be together today so many things must happen:

1) Shorty and I would have had to meet.

I don’t necessarily believe that we only have one soul mate each for the rest of our lives. I believe that we will have a few… but we won’t meet them all at the right time. Maybe you could meet your first soul mate when you’re 12 (which could be too young) and the next one maybe when you’re 40 (which could be a little on the old side). So the fact that fate had me meet Shorty at the right age for marriage was such a blessing. I used to think that I met Shorty too early though, because I didn’t have enough time to date around more but I guess in all fairness… I’m glad to have been able to met Shorty at all.

2) Shorty and I had to be single and not married.

In all fairness, when Shorty and I first met we were both in a relationship. After a while though those relationships ended and Shorty and I started with ours. What I’m glad about though is at least we weren’t already married when we met. Otherwise Shorty and I probably wouldn’t have been together because some things like keeping a family together for the sake of your child may be more important than true love.

3) Shorty had to like me

Not every girl digs fatties.

4) I had to like Shorty

Not every guy digs Shorties.

5) Shorty and I had to click

Ok but seriously I think this was the most important of all. Physically, Shorty isn’t really my type and I’m not really Shorty’s type either.

Shorty likes guys who are:

– Bad boy looking

– Small-eyes

– Skinny

~~– Treats her bad~~

I on the other hand like girls who are:

– Tall

– Nice long legs

– Nice …. *cough*

– HOT.

And that really doesn’t change. Sometimes Shorty sees a hot guy and she goes on and on about him and when I see a hot girl I do the same too. That’s ok for our relationship because I guess we’re not insecure about it and because as much as we admire good looking people, we know that what we have is a lot more than just looks. It’s that connection… that she’s just for me and I’m just for her and it’s apparent in the amount of fun we have with each other every single day. Every day we make each other smile and laugh out loud.

So coming back to the interview that started this blog entry… What was my greatest achievement? To me it was convincing Shorty to marry me.

Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space

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