Many tourists look at Penang as a teeny little tropical island north of Peninsular Malaysia.
An island where people sip ice-tea and lie on the beaches.
You know what’s wrong with islands like this?
It gets mistaken as the kind of island where if there ever were a war, its native Penangites will defend the island with coconuts and fruit drinks.
Well HMPH!
That’s why to make sure that Hasan didn’t get the wrong idea about Penang,
I brought him to Fort Cornwallis while he was here in Penang.
YES… PENANG HAS A FORT!!!
But NOBODY PAYS ENOUGH ATTENTION TO IT!!!
WHY?!?!?
Because everyone is too busy with Kota A Famosa in Malacca.
Ohhh ohhh!!!
Kota A Famosa this … Kota A Famosa that…
Does anyone not consider the feelings of the old Penang Fort up north?!?!?!
All it wanted was a little bit of attention!
But nooo…. Kota A Famosa gets all the fame and tourists all flock there to see one wall.
That’s right… ONE WALL…
Whereas Fort Cornwallis up in Penang has a BIG STATUE of Francis Light!
Guns and Hats for us to wear!
Lots and lots of prison to lock up bad people!
And four walls.
That’s right… NOT ONE… NOT TWO… NOT THREE… FOUR #*&*ING WALLS!!!!
And CANNONS too.
Not just ONE or two cannons.
A MILLION OF THEM… ENOUGH TO SHOOT DOWN THAT NAVY SHIP AT SEA!!!
So why does nobody care about Fort Cornwallis?
Is it because it has MORE than ONE WALL???
NO!
Is it because the Fort has NEVER seen battle before ever in its history?
NO!
IT’S BECAUSE OF THE DAMN CHAR KWAY TEOW!
When tourists come to Penang… what do they come for?
They come BLINDED BY THE FOOD and NOTHING ELSE!!!
All that FOOD OVERSHADOWS our history and the existence of our FORT CORNWALLIS!!!
Shame on you Penangites for making such good Char Kway Teow.
One day… ONE DAY if our shores are invaded by an army of imaginary armoured monkeys shall you learn to appreciate our dear Fort Cornwallis.
If that day ever comes… I jom this cannon ok?
I like this cannon. Can roll wan.
The rest of you can go fight for the other cannons.
I’m taking this one.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space