Only when you lose someone do you really realize how important someone was to you. That was how… my whole family felt yesterday at my grandfather’s funeral. My grandfather’s name was Tiah Eng Bee.
The family home in which my father grew up along with my aunties and uncles was in the small town of Kluang, Johor. It was a single storey house with just a few rooms where my uncles and aunties would cram together growing up. At the back of the house there were constantly chickens or ducks walking around the house, probably not knowing they would all eventually end up in the kitchen with my grandmother one day. To feed the family.
My grandfather was a politican, the only one in our family till today. During Tunku Abdul Rahman’s time, he ran for elections and became a member of parliament. We had old pictures of him in the 60s, pictures of him campaigning for votes and pictures of him with prime ministers or leaders that we only get to read about in our history books. On one picture he was shaking hands with Tunku Abdul Rahman, another with Tun Hussein Onn and even one with Tun Mahathir.
At the end of his great life, I find myself remembering all the things that my grandfather was… and wasn’t.
My Grandfather was wise
In one of our conversations a few years ago, he praised me for doing well in business but he cautioned me. He said “When you make money, make sure you save enough. Because the opportunity to make money doesn’t always last and the world is a cruel place for people who don’t have money”.
My Grandfather cared.
About 2-3 months ago, I was having a lot of challenges at work and I was really stressed out. My parents knew and I think word got passed down to my grandpa.
I went to visit my sick grandpa one day. There he was laying in bed, gaunt and weak… with hardly the strength to talk to anyone. When I walked in I smiled, shouted “HELLO AH GONG!!!” and waved frantically. We all knew he was too weak to respond but I could see him acknowledging me in his eyes.
Then as he saw me come closer, he opened his mouth and muttered the only few words he could say to me.
“How is your problem?”.
I said I had managed to overcome them and it’s all ok. I could see him breathe a small sign of relief as he slowly slipped back into sleep.
I left his house that day thinking…. that there was my dying grandfather who hardly had the strength to do anything. But he mustered the strength to ask me how my problem was. My grandfather cared.
My Grandfather was honest.
As an MP and a politician, my grandfather was never corrupt and he was never rich. He told us of the many opportunities he had to be corrupt as an MP but he refused to turn on the people who had voted for him. So he never was rich on his own, but he believed his honesty was why he was blessed with successful children that cared for him all the way till his last days on earth.
My grandfather was 89 years old when he passed away 6 days ago. The Tiah family came together to mourn him and to see him off to his final resting place that was on a beautiful spot on a hill in Rawang. He lived not just a long life but a full life. He struggled to raise a family, he served our country and community.
In the end he left behind a legacy in us. His children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I can only hope that I will be able to live a life as full and meaningful as his.
Rest in peace Ah Gong.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space