TimothyTiah.com

How marriage surprised me

Coming back from Singapore by car last weekend, Shorty was suffering from a very quickly escalating condition of UTI (urinary tract infection). The symptoms was pain, which she was feeling and her constant need to go to the bathroom. Which made us thankful that Malaysian highways had so many rest stops.

When we got to KL we immediately went to see a doctor. The doctor told her to pee in a cup. When she held up the cup for me to see, I had a shock of my life. Her pee was the colour of Ribena.

The doctor confirming that it was UTI offered her an injection to cure the symptoms. He felt that she would hesitate an injection like any normal person but little did he know, Shorty wasn’t normal. You see, Shorty has a phobia for taking oral medication and given a choice she would rather take an injection any day. Heck if Panadol came in the form of an injection she would stop up a rack of them at home just for herself.

As we stood outside the clinic waiting for our Uber that rainy day, Shorty looked at me and said “Thank you” (for taking me to the doctor).

I said “What are you thanking me for? It is my duty. Through sickness and in health right?”.

It was then that I was reminded about what many marriages have… what Shorty and I have. Before you find the one to settle down and get married, relationships were all about discovery, about fun and sometimes about the petty little fights that help us know each other better. After a long relationship though there’s always that fear about taking that next step. Is the one I’m going to marry the right one? What is it like to be with one person for the rest of your life?

The latter question is the one most guys go through and here I am, married for almost 5 years now and I’m actually really happy that I am. I don’t see marriage as me being with one woman for the rest of my life. It’s like over the past 5 years, my wife has become a real part of me. Conjoined to me like my personality is, my soul and my heart. If she’s happy I’m happy. If she’s sad I’m sad. If she’s sick I feel sick too. What marriage gives us isn’t really variety, nor discovery nor many of the other things we had when we were just dating. It gives me much more than that.

It gives me a sense of partnership that have a commitment to be together through thick and thin. That through our kids we have a common goal in wanting to raise them well and give them the best. That life is not just about me anymore. It’s about us. It’s about family.

Watching the rain fall that day outside the clinic with my wife standing next to me I thought to myself that it’s been almost 5 years of marriage now. I hope the next 30 years are just as good.


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