TimothyTiah.com

How I courted my way back to my daughter’s heart

Since Penny was born she has always been really sticky to Shorty over anybody else in the house. When mommy is carrying her nobody else gets a chance. When anyone else carries her and she sees mommy she makes a dive for mommy. And when she’s sad and crying she only calls out to mommy.

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I used to feel kinda sad about the whole thing. You see Fighter gets a lot of attention because he’s really sociable and enjoys talking to people so I’ve always made it a point to pay special attention to Penny. That extra attention however has been hard to give.

Every time I ask Penny if i could carry her she says “No” and runs away with the quick steps of her little feet. Sometimes I would feel sad from all the rejection I’ve been getting but I realize that just meant I needed to try harder.

So here’s what I did:

  1. I constantly asked her if I could carry her no matter how many times she said no.
  2. When she called out for mommy when mommy wasn’t around I would say “Mommy’s not here but Daddy’s here”.
  3. Whenever I see her on her own alone at home I would play with her. When I see any opportunities that Fighter gets I make sure she gets it too.
  4. I make it a point to read her a bedtime story every night before she sleeps.
  5. I look at what she enjoys doing, and then I make it a point to do it with her.

After many months of trying the above, here’s where I stand today.

  1. She still says no but in at least 40% of the time I ask she raises her hands signalling for me to carry her. I don’t know about you but that’s progress to me.
  2. When I say mommy’s not here but I am she doesn’t ask for mommy anymore. Instead when Mommy is around I hear her sometimes ask for me.
  3. When I’m reading, or playing games or doing things on my own I notice her coming to me to give me attention too. Whether to offer to play something with me or just to sit on my lap.
  4. Today we were at a book store and I sat on the floor while I got out a story book. Without asking she immediately came over to me and sat on my lap, ready to listen to the story. She does that every time I open a story book now.
  5. I realize she likes being chased. Yep… being chased. So I would pretend to be a monster and try to catch her and she would run away in her quick tiny steps while laughing until I finally caught her.

If there’s one thing I think I’ve achieved this year is I think I’ve won my way into Penny’s heart. I now feel really really loved by her and all that effort, all that rejection… was just worth it.

I’ve learned a lesson here. That is no matter how much our kids reject us sometimes, just keep trying… and soon enough they’ll see you for what you really are.


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